Two Losers: A One Act Tragedy In Poor Decisions or the Propinquitious Nature of Love

Theatrical Releases:

Two Lovers (2008) -- James Gray's latest offering makes one ponder who exactly the title is referring to. The film is, in all actuality, about four individuals, all lovers, in their own right, all loving the 'wrong' people. The film seems to be in exercise in poor decision making skills and how it is human nature to want what we can't have. Joaquin Phoenix stars in,urportedly, his last motion picture vehicle, as Leonard, a depressed, suicidal black hole of a man, living with his parents (a lovely Isabella Rossellini and Moni Moshonov) after the dissipation of his relationship with his fiancee, vaguely revolving around both of them being Tay-Sachs carriers and what sounds like what would have been extremely invasive in-laws. The film opens with Leonard jumping into the Bay, only to change his mind at the last minute. Wandering home soaking wet, his mother is wise to his antics, concluding immediately that her son probably had attempted suicide again. As fate would have it, Leonard's parents have invited the Cohen's over for dinner that evening. Mr. Cohen will be purchasing the dry cleaning business that Leonard's father owns. Mr. Cohen also has a lovely daughter, Sandra (model/actress Vinessa Shaw), who is already smitten with Leonard. The gorgeous Vinessa Shaw happens to be the most sympathetic and realistic characterization, however, one comes to judge her taste and intelligence as she doggedly pursues a relationship with a somewhat disinterested and sloppy individual like Leonard. She insists she wants to take care of him and several instances arise where it is mentioned that many young men have sought the hand of Sandra. Well, damn it, what in the weary world does she see in this loser? Leonard has his sights on Michele, (Gwyneth Paltrow), a drug-addled, idiotic, pill-popping mess in need of a hair cut/hair product, along with a reality check. Michele is dating a married man (played with creepy irascibility by Elias Koteas) and at every annoying, whiny moment, ponders uselessly whether or not he would leave his family for her (disgustingly, he has paid for her gorgeous apartment that is in close proximity to his mother). The problem with Paltrow is she's too old for this role to be acting so childish and naive. Or perhaps it bothers me to watch a bunch of late thirtysomethings behaving as if they were 25 years old. Granted, there comes a times in one's life where opportunities converge or topple over onto one another at your very feet--but you must choose wisely or not at all. Leonard does neither. Michele is so wrapped up in her warped, selfish universe that on the eve where she is to run away with Leonard (while he leaves his girlfriend Sandra in the lurch) she predictably goes back to her unhealthy relationship with the married man. The movie's most brilliant and darkest moment is indeed the end, in which I did nearly shed a tear for the duped Sandra (there is also one touching scene between Phoenix and Rossellini that stands out). The feelings this film evoked in me were akin to how I felt watching Richard Widmark in Jules Dassin's Night and the City (1950) -- what a bunch of fucking losers but congratulations for being so effectively distasteful.

The Big Clock (1948) -- Another film in the Universal Noir series I have had the extreme fortune to attend, I loved loved loved this film. Directed by John Farrow (Hondo - 1953), and starring Maureen O'Sullivan (the parents of Mia Farrow), Ray Milland, Charles Laughton, and a stupendously entertaining Elsa Lanchester (who also met the man she would be bearding, Laughton, on this set), The Big Clock is an entertaining little noir with all the superior elements you could ask for concerning the genre; a crime scene magazine editor furiously trying to prevent himself from being framed for a murder his extremely powerful and creepy boss committed.

DVD!! :)

Powder (1995)

I recently had a movie night for director Victor Salva's first film, Clownhouse (1989), the scandalous late 80's clown-horror that had scarier things happening behind the scenes. Putting that all behind us, Salva's tortured sophomoric effort (because it was heavily boycotted) is in all actuality, an excellent piece of filmmaking with an excellent message about humanity. It is only human to read into certain homoerotic elements that I do believe exist in the film, (if you disagree, read some Dyer and learn what reception theory is---be prepared before arguing), but those small instances don't detract from the overall arch of the narrative which concerns the exploits of a timid, hairless albino boy and basically how awful people treat him because he's different. Sean Patrick Flanery turns in an excellent performance as the pale pariah (too bad everything I've seen him in after that was awful, like that silly shanty called Boondock Saints - 1999). Mary Steenburgen, Jeff Goldblum, and Lance Henrickson all turn in moving performances and it's too bad that the director's reputation limited the film. I myself remember my parents being shocked about this film upon it's release (because the director had just served time for pedophilia, etc). What we all need to remember is that Mr. Salva did serve his sentence (see the history of Roman Polanski for comparison) and the film's basic message is about tolerance and acceptance. It is funny to note that though Powder is not supposed to grow hair, he does have eyelashes. The film also got me all choked up, especially in the scene where Jeff Goldblum shares a tender moment with Powder, and also when Lance Henrickson communicates with his dying wife. (I believe the father/son conflict in the Henrickson subplot resonates with a large number of men in the gay community, and there's so much good demonstrated in this film I wish it were more celebrated than it is.) While there are some quite fantastical elements (it helps that Powder has special powers and a genius IQ), the most upsetting element was the fact that Powder is able to tell what people think and feel---that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I suppose if I could have special powers I would be more like Carrie White than Powder. C'est la vie.

You'll Like My Mother (1972) -- This facetiously titled snoozer should have been called "You'll Like My Movie" because I didn't. Which is sad, I was kind of into the predictable little story, if only it hadn't suffered from the mildly retarded pacing. Patty Duke (The Miracle Worker - 1962) stars as a heavily pregnant young woman who treks through some awful Minnesota weather to visit the mother of her recently deceased husband who died in Vietnam. Interesting premise, thus far. Topping that, it was filmed in the Glensheen Mansion in Duluth, Minnesota BEFORE the infamous Glensheen Mansion murders and one might assume you'd have a good film in the bucket. Not so. Ms. Duke does alright with the limited material and Rosemary Murphy is delightfully bitchy as a wicked woman with a dirty secret who takes Duke hostage and tries to kill her baby. Richard Thomas and his mole ("The Waltons" ; It - 1990) is also young, creepy, and borderline dull as a murderer/rapist wandering around the mansion and avoiding the police. (BTW, Murphy is still alive and kicking, appearing into two recent high profile films, The Savages - 2007, and Synecdoche, NY - 2008). Too many inconsistencies don't quite add up, like why Murphy has to take away Duke's baby even though she's locked her in a room and shipping her out of town, anyway. And what exactly is an 8 1/2 month pregnant woman doing trekking about all over? Wouldn't you have had the baby first, then visited the stagnant in-laws? All in all, a lesson in tediousness and how to avoid keeping an audience interested. This was the second feature of Creepy Pregnant Lady night.

Baby Blood (1990) - The first feature screened in honor of Creepy Pregnant Ladies in film was just the ticket. Ridiculous, gory, and over the top, the demon baby's voice being the highlight (and comparable to how Jim Carrey talks out of his ass as Ace Ventura), I loved Baby Blood and I am now keen on getting a hold of the 2008 sequel, Lady Blood, penned by and starring Emmanuelle Escourrou. I'm going to guess we see less of Ms. Escourrou's t&a as 18 years have passed since this original little delight.

Boarding Gate (2007) -- I'm not surprised that I actually quite liked this dismissed effort from Olivier Assayas, the man who made the brilliant (in my esteemable opinion) Demonlover (2002). I have grown quite fond of Asia Argento as of late, what with the excellent The Last Mistress (2008), and an intriguing upcoming Jodorowsky project. Boarding Gate is about an ex-prostitute whose new lover hires her to kill her former lover (Michael Madsen). New lover's wife (OMG!) is the one actually running the scenes, causing much difficulty for Argento. The most compelling moment of this film is the dialogue between Argento and Madsen leading up to his death. In essence, this exchange is what makes/breaks the film. I found Argento's heartache over the sexual and mental manipulation over Madsen to be realistic, utterly believable and ultimately, devastatingly human. Her extended final mind-game consists of her working herself up to what she knows she must do. For anyone who's ever been in an unhealthy relationship in which the other's effect on you is much like what a magnet does to a television set, then I'd hope you could appreciate the wonderful Asia Argento in what stands as an overlooked film from master Olivier Assayas (though I didn't really care for Summer Hours - 2008, but more on that some other time).

Vamp (1986) -- I have always been intrigued by Grace Jones. In my mind she stands as one of those androgynous, defining personalities of queer cultural reference from the 70's and 80's, much like Klaus Nomi, David Bowie, Boy George, and maybe even Nina Hagen. It's too bad that she was defined as 'too unique' in New York, forcing her to find fame as model in Paris. I also enjoy the fact that Arnold Schwarzeneggar complained she was "too tough" in the Conan sequel they filmed together. The Devil & Miss Jones.....Anyhow, I had always wanted to see Vamp, but just never got around to it till now. It's not a good film by any means, but I would love to find a poster of the video/DVD release which features Grace in the only intriguing portion of the movie where she does a strange striptease looking like the lovechild of Pennywise and Marilyn Manson. Michelle Pfeiffer's sister, Dedee also stars and she's quite cute. Chris Makepeace (Meatballs, 1979) is annoying and talentless and is unfortunately the film's lead. The plot centers vaguely around some college kids discovering a nest of vampires in a strip joint and vague dilemmas ensue. Ms. Jones has no dialogue, but great makeup. Additionally, the DVD has strange, strange, strange "rehearsal" footage in which the director and Grace Jones are "blocking" the scene in which Jones seduces and bites a young, sexy college kid (who would eventually be played by 19 year old Robert Rusler). A bizarre, lengthy, and downright creepy sequence of a giggling Grace and trying-hard-to-sound professional director Richard Wenk piqued my interest more than the lifeless film. Mr. Wenk hasn't directed much else, and I vaguely remember seeing the unfortunate Just the Ticket (1999), starring Andie MacDowell and Andy Garcia. Andie & Andy, get it.