New Theatrical Releases:
Treeless Mountain (2008) -- So Yong Kim's sophomoric effort (which gets its official release in April) has nothing to do with lack of pubic hair, though irritatingly my brain was pickled in testosterone somewhere along the way and it insists on associating this title with lack of pubic hair. I think it's funny. Regardless, I was lucky enough to attend a recent screening of this film and was blown away at how excellent the film was. It made me smile and cry, concerning the exploits of two very young girls in South Korea, Jin & Bin, and their abandonment by their mother, aunt, and an off screen father. The director was in attendance at the screening I was at and peppered throughout the pretentious ignorance of the audience members, the recurring theme of filming with children surfaced several times. One portentous lady exclaimed, "So the girls didn't really know what was going on? You mean, we (the audience) were bringing our own assumptions into what was going on?," to which the cute Ms. Kim slyly shrugged. Yes, film is a manipulation, an art. I don't understand why people get so upset when they realize child actors aren't really all like Dakota Fanning---you generally have to fool children to get the reactions you want---and by the way, no matter how good or bad the actor, there's a whole slew of other people, including the director, that paste together a film. Anyhow, Treeless Mountain is a gripping and beautiful piece of film about two girls, their somewhat abusive aunt, and an eventual return to a somewhat stable existence. Interestingly enough, the film is partially autobiographical. I must make a point to see Kim's first celebrated feature, In Between Days (2006).
Cherry Blossoms (2008) -- Another film that made me an emotional wreck for some reason was German filmmaker Doris Dorrie's new film, Cherry Blossoms. Centering on a long married German couple, Trudi and Rudi, the film opens with Trudi learning that Rudi has a terminal illness. (I didn't quite understand why the physicians insisted on informing his wife and not him, but maybe the German healthcare system is unaware of something we call HIPPA). Anyhow, it turns out that Trudi & Rudi are strangely distant from all three of their children (including a very angry lesbian daughter) and right before packing up to return home from their trip, Trudi unexpectedly dies. Rudi then goes on a touching journey to see Mt. Fuji---turns out Trudi was in love with the Japanese dance art Buto, and out of ignorance and selfishness, made her give up her dream to study it when they married. An interesting and emotional study in loss, love, and what we sacrifice for relationships and children, I cried several times at Cherry Blossoms and was thankful that for me to have children would require Herculean efforts I simply am not interested in exploring. The ungrateful bastards. The actress playing Trudi, Hannelore Elsner, was quite a revelation and I look forward to discovering more of her work, along with director Doris Dorrie.
Watchmen (2009) -- What might stand as the most ridiculous, self-indulgent, ham-fisted, underwhelming, bloated, noxious disappoint of 2009's theatrical releases (for me at least) was this balderdash piece of poppycock I forced myself to sit through this week, causing enough displeasure with cinema that, dear readers, I simply could not bring myself to blog. After my retinas were raped by this harrowing dogmatic drivel, I felt as if I had spiritual diarrhea. This dangerous film had me on the brink of losing hope with humanity, but, my little darlings, I've recovered. My wings still feel clipped but I'm clattering away at the keyboard, feeling a bit like Charly in Flowers For Algernon, however.
Where to begin? Why didn't I like it? Well, it's painfully, insufferably DULL. I discovered this after maybe the 35 minute mark, when I finally gave up on the meandering plot. The more screen time Malin Ackerman (the Silk Spectre) had, the more my blood pressure dipped dangerously low. We could blame the script for blandness, but poor Malin's maligned acting skills when paired with her dull face and plastic personality was the largest crack in the film's foundation, followed swiftly by a dull Patrick Wilson as the Nite Owl, a hammy Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian, and an atrociously bad Matthew Goode as Ozymandias, the smartest man in the world. Poor Matthew Goode is an example of what the smartest man in the world looks like when written by individuals who are, decidedly, of less than average intelligence or comprehensive reasoning. Not to mention the strange homosexual tensions, (is Matthew Goode supposed to be gay, what with the silk purple everything, Greek laurels and stunningly ugly blonde wig?) and Dr. Manhattan's (Billy Crudup) blue phallus wagging around all over place-- except for the lovely thong he gets to wear in the Vietnam sequences. I guess Napalm would hurt my testicles, too. Perhaps my main problem with EVERYTHING in this film was an extreme lack of clarity---it was pointedly and unforgivably made for die hard fans of the comic series. I wanted some explanations, such as, why is Richard Nixon elected for a THIRD term? I want to know what happened that made it possible for a president to be elected for a 3rd term again. Second, I wanted them to explain what Ozymandias is. I am pretentiously going to declare right now that I guarantee that the core audience of this comic serial doesn't know. (It's the name of a poem by Percy Byshe Shelley). And why, oh why! is Carla Gugino (who's not even forty yet) being made up to play a 67 year old, the original Silk Spectre. Carla has exactly two or three "flashback" sequences. I don't see why they couldn't find a more age appropriate actress if most of her scenes were supposed to be that of a woman nearly 30 years older. The Comedian is also said to be 67 while Rorschach (played by the creepy Jackie Earle Haley) is said to be 35--when for him to look 35 means Rhea Perlman looks 35. And if Gugino is 67 then how old is her daughter? And why this whole overromanticized obsession with Vietnam-Reagan era America that insists on a Baby Boomer certified soundtrack that jarringly wrenches us out of the narrative? Perhaps this time period in America, all those cynical, bitter, insane sociopaths could put on a cloak and become a super hero without any apparent power--but for a generation or two with different fantasies and different dreams, this super hero noir sure misses the mark.
Some awful scenes that made me ball my fists into the theater seat or loudly guffaw:
The repeated sequence of Carla Gugino shouting in a domestic flashback dispute, "I was a super hero goddamnit!"
The flashback sequence where Rorschach's mother screams "I should've had that abortion" when he catches her having relations. --- I laughed long and hard and no one laughed with me. I felt like an asshole and I this was the only satisfaction I was to have during this 3 hour period of time.
The Vietnam sequence where the Comedian spouts some racially charged comments at his knocked up Vietnamese lady friend before shooting her right in the belly. But not before she imploringly says they need to talk (in her broken English).
The "Mars" sequence where Dr. Manhattan has an epiphany claiming Malin Whatsherman is a miracle because she's the product of a sadomasochistic floozy and a woman beater. Mmmhmm. That mean's if Rihanna has a child with Chris Brown, this offspring may also be termed that.
I did not enjoy this film and would gladly donate 3 hours of my life to ensure that director Zach Snyder not get another directing gig. But, as luck would have it, I'm sure he'll be helming a sequel.
Treeless Mountain (2008) -- So Yong Kim's sophomoric effort (which gets its official release in April) has nothing to do with lack of pubic hair, though irritatingly my brain was pickled in testosterone somewhere along the way and it insists on associating this title with lack of pubic hair. I think it's funny. Regardless, I was lucky enough to attend a recent screening of this film and was blown away at how excellent the film was. It made me smile and cry, concerning the exploits of two very young girls in South Korea, Jin & Bin, and their abandonment by their mother, aunt, and an off screen father. The director was in attendance at the screening I was at and peppered throughout the pretentious ignorance of the audience members, the recurring theme of filming with children surfaced several times. One portentous lady exclaimed, "So the girls didn't really know what was going on? You mean, we (the audience) were bringing our own assumptions into what was going on?," to which the cute Ms. Kim slyly shrugged. Yes, film is a manipulation, an art. I don't understand why people get so upset when they realize child actors aren't really all like Dakota Fanning---you generally have to fool children to get the reactions you want---and by the way, no matter how good or bad the actor, there's a whole slew of other people, including the director, that paste together a film. Anyhow, Treeless Mountain is a gripping and beautiful piece of film about two girls, their somewhat abusive aunt, and an eventual return to a somewhat stable existence. Interestingly enough, the film is partially autobiographical. I must make a point to see Kim's first celebrated feature, In Between Days (2006).
Cherry Blossoms (2008) -- Another film that made me an emotional wreck for some reason was German filmmaker Doris Dorrie's new film, Cherry Blossoms. Centering on a long married German couple, Trudi and Rudi, the film opens with Trudi learning that Rudi has a terminal illness. (I didn't quite understand why the physicians insisted on informing his wife and not him, but maybe the German healthcare system is unaware of something we call HIPPA). Anyhow, it turns out that Trudi & Rudi are strangely distant from all three of their children (including a very angry lesbian daughter) and right before packing up to return home from their trip, Trudi unexpectedly dies. Rudi then goes on a touching journey to see Mt. Fuji---turns out Trudi was in love with the Japanese dance art Buto, and out of ignorance and selfishness, made her give up her dream to study it when they married. An interesting and emotional study in loss, love, and what we sacrifice for relationships and children, I cried several times at Cherry Blossoms and was thankful that for me to have children would require Herculean efforts I simply am not interested in exploring. The ungrateful bastards. The actress playing Trudi, Hannelore Elsner, was quite a revelation and I look forward to discovering more of her work, along with director Doris Dorrie.
Watchmen (2009) -- What might stand as the most ridiculous, self-indulgent, ham-fisted, underwhelming, bloated, noxious disappoint of 2009's theatrical releases (for me at least) was this balderdash piece of poppycock I forced myself to sit through this week, causing enough displeasure with cinema that, dear readers, I simply could not bring myself to blog. After my retinas were raped by this harrowing dogmatic drivel, I felt as if I had spiritual diarrhea. This dangerous film had me on the brink of losing hope with humanity, but, my little darlings, I've recovered. My wings still feel clipped but I'm clattering away at the keyboard, feeling a bit like Charly in Flowers For Algernon, however.
Where to begin? Why didn't I like it? Well, it's painfully, insufferably DULL. I discovered this after maybe the 35 minute mark, when I finally gave up on the meandering plot. The more screen time Malin Ackerman (the Silk Spectre) had, the more my blood pressure dipped dangerously low. We could blame the script for blandness, but poor Malin's maligned acting skills when paired with her dull face and plastic personality was the largest crack in the film's foundation, followed swiftly by a dull Patrick Wilson as the Nite Owl, a hammy Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian, and an atrociously bad Matthew Goode as Ozymandias, the smartest man in the world. Poor Matthew Goode is an example of what the smartest man in the world looks like when written by individuals who are, decidedly, of less than average intelligence or comprehensive reasoning. Not to mention the strange homosexual tensions, (is Matthew Goode supposed to be gay, what with the silk purple everything, Greek laurels and stunningly ugly blonde wig?) and Dr. Manhattan's (Billy Crudup) blue phallus wagging around all over place-- except for the lovely thong he gets to wear in the Vietnam sequences. I guess Napalm would hurt my testicles, too. Perhaps my main problem with EVERYTHING in this film was an extreme lack of clarity---it was pointedly and unforgivably made for die hard fans of the comic series. I wanted some explanations, such as, why is Richard Nixon elected for a THIRD term? I want to know what happened that made it possible for a president to be elected for a 3rd term again. Second, I wanted them to explain what Ozymandias is. I am pretentiously going to declare right now that I guarantee that the core audience of this comic serial doesn't know. (It's the name of a poem by Percy Byshe Shelley). And why, oh why! is Carla Gugino (who's not even forty yet) being made up to play a 67 year old, the original Silk Spectre. Carla has exactly two or three "flashback" sequences. I don't see why they couldn't find a more age appropriate actress if most of her scenes were supposed to be that of a woman nearly 30 years older. The Comedian is also said to be 67 while Rorschach (played by the creepy Jackie Earle Haley) is said to be 35--when for him to look 35 means Rhea Perlman looks 35. And if Gugino is 67 then how old is her daughter? And why this whole overromanticized obsession with Vietnam-Reagan era America that insists on a Baby Boomer certified soundtrack that jarringly wrenches us out of the narrative? Perhaps this time period in America, all those cynical, bitter, insane sociopaths could put on a cloak and become a super hero without any apparent power--but for a generation or two with different fantasies and different dreams, this super hero noir sure misses the mark.
Some awful scenes that made me ball my fists into the theater seat or loudly guffaw:
The repeated sequence of Carla Gugino shouting in a domestic flashback dispute, "I was a super hero goddamnit!"
The flashback sequence where Rorschach's mother screams "I should've had that abortion" when he catches her having relations. --- I laughed long and hard and no one laughed with me. I felt like an asshole and I this was the only satisfaction I was to have during this 3 hour period of time.
The Vietnam sequence where the Comedian spouts some racially charged comments at his knocked up Vietnamese lady friend before shooting her right in the belly. But not before she imploringly says they need to talk (in her broken English).
The "Mars" sequence where Dr. Manhattan has an epiphany claiming Malin Whatsherman is a miracle because she's the product of a sadomasochistic floozy and a woman beater. Mmmhmm. That mean's if Rihanna has a child with Chris Brown, this offspring may also be termed that.
I did not enjoy this film and would gladly donate 3 hours of my life to ensure that director Zach Snyder not get another directing gig. But, as luck would have it, I'm sure he'll be helming a sequel.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJin and Bin, Trudi and Rudi...sounds like two awful mid-morning talkshows airing on the BBC.
ReplyDeleteYour review of Watchmen is the best so far!
I haven't seen Watchmen yet, and I'm not sure I will. I'm trying not to be, or sound like a fanboy of the graphic novel — but really there can't be any clean way to re-write that thing for the screen.
ReplyDeleteAlso I heard there was a sex scene set to "Hallelujah" which given the right director may have been a lot of fun. But with Snyder I'm going to stay far...far away (knowing how he handles sex scenes...thinking 300). A lot of the continuity (Nixon, Watergate, etc.) was explained in the graphic novel in ways that just would not translate to the screen.
Hell, if I stay in Kentucky much longer I'm sure I'll see this damn thing one lonely rainy afternoon. But not while I have better things to do. Like re-read the graphic novel.