Cess Pool Cinema:
Next Friday (2000) Dir. Steve Carr – US
Angels and Demons (2009) Dir. Ron Howard – US
Saw VI (2009) Dir. Kevin Greutert – US
Saw: The Final Chapter (2010) Dir. Kevin Greutert – US
The Banal, the Blah, the Banausic:
Friday After Next (2002) Dir. Marcus Raboy – US
Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (2009) Dir. Shinya Tsukamoto – Japan
Of Interest:
All About the Benjamins (2002) Dir. Kevin Bray – US
MST3K 3000: Santa Claus (1959) Dir. Rene Cardona – Mexico
The Perez Family (1995) Dir. Mira Nair - US
Recommended:
In Their Sleep (2010) Dir. Caroline & Eric du Potet – France
Cousins (1989) Dir. Joel Schumacher – US
The Affairs of Cellini (1934) Dir. Gregory La Cava – US
Essential Cinema:
The General (1926) Dir. Buster Keaton & Clyde Bruckman - US
Import/Export (2007) Dir. Ulrich Seidl – Austria/Germany
Barry Lyndon (1975) Dir. Stanley Kubrick – UK/US
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973) Dir. Victor Erice - Spain
Theatrical Screenings:
Another Year (2010) Dir. Mike Leigh – UK 10/10
Re-watched Goodies:
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) Dir. Tay Garnett – US
Next Friday (2000): Wow, what a terribly written, acted, and produced sequel to what was actually quite a good first film. I can understand why Chris Tucker had nothing to do with this venture. Director Steve Carr is also responsible for cinematic abortions like Doctor Dolittle 2 (2001) and Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009). Bad news bears: he is has been tapped to helm the Short Circuit remake. Faring the worst in this cess is Mike Epps (his first lead role sees him rather forced and uncomfortable) and especially Jacob Vargas as the Hispanic gangsta next door.
Angels and Demons (2009): The camera swings around like the head of a beleaguered dog, seemingly unable to keep up with or focus directly on all the nonsensical action. Tom Hanks’ poorly written character would have been better served if he spoke directly to the camera to explain infinitely useless facts that have little or nothing to do with the plot. A shameless two and a half hours, Ron Howard displays what happens when power is given to a sometimes mediocre craftsman. I was saddened at the presence of all the cast that’s way too good for the material, especially Ewan McGregor and Armin Mueller-Stahl, and Stellan Skarsgard. At least some foreign actors like Ayelet Zurer and Nikolaj Lie Kaas get a nice mainstream credit to put on their resume. This is utter tripe---I used to be hopeful when I saw David Koepp credited as screenwriter—but consider the source material. To quote my sister, this is like Twilight for adults---or bourgeois Christians, to be exact.
Saw VI (2009): It’s really not even worth explaining why this is cess pool cinema. I can’t fathom how all these films made so much money (though this poor performing entry in the series put the proverbial nails in the coffin, shortening the plans to have 8 films become 7). I could go on and on in a useless tirade, but I’m most bemused that Costas Mandylor somehow became the highlight streaking all the way from 3 through 7.
Saw: The Final Chapter (2010): In truth, there’s really nothing that differentiates this from the previous film, except it reeks even more so of fecunditious (not a word) desperation. Yeah, Sean Patrick Flanery and Cary Elwes---poor things.
Friday After Next (2002): Yes, this is actually better than Next Friday---I notice that DJ Pooh is no longer listed as screenwriter, and a music video director took over as director. Still slight and forced, and rather forgettable, at least it has some entertaining moments. The film’s attempt at making light of homosexuality and prison (a la Terry Crews) was a bit much, but at least not as homophobic as I would have expected from an early 00’s urban comedy.
Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (2009): Now, I did enjoy the original Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) and I haven’t seen the second one from 1992, but this third entry, beyond an awesomely cool opening sequence, re-treads the same exact material with special effects that haven’t been enhanced with technology. Of interest to extreme fans of Tsukamoto’s work (though I really recommend A Snake of June, 2002).
All About the Benjamins (2002): I really liked the first half hour of this film, but it unravels pretty quickly as we get into the plot---a lot is riding on the friendship chemistry between Ice Cube and Mike Epps, again, and this wears pretty thin when we realize that the females are given little or nothing to do---especially when Eva Mendes is one of those females. Sad that it becomes a derivative heist auctioneer, but it is of interest, nonetheless.
MST3K: Santa Claus (1959): This late 50’s Mexican film about Santa battling evil (a role usually played by Jesus or God, which leads me to believe that the fundamentalists would denounce this children’s film as blasphemous) seems perfect for the MST3K treatment, but truthfully, it wasn’t one of their best---still, it’s worth a few laughs.
The Perez Family (1995): There’s nothing wrong with Mira Nair’s The Perez Family---just that it is, at time, a tad contrived. I think I wanted to like it more than I eventually did, mostly due to the fact that I loved Nair’s previous film, Mississippi Masala (1991). The premise in intriguing—centering on a boat load of Cuban immigrants that land in Miami circa 1980, per Castro’s release---not a subject on display in American features. The film did get a lot of flack for casting non-Latin actors in primary roles (Marisa Tomei, Alfred Molina, and Anjelica Huston). All give fine performances---I just wanted more.
In Their Sleep (2010): I have a soft spot in my heart for brutally violent French horror films (but not all of them). This one feels a little derivative and stars La Femme Nikita (1990) star Annie Parillaud as a woman who has recently lost her teenage son during a move to the countryside (a lot of bad shit always happens in the tranquil countryside). All alone, she nearly runs over a bleeding youth in the middle of the road one night, pursued by an unknown man that apparently has been burglarizing house in the countryside---but not is all as it seems. While you could easily predict what happens, the cinematography is beautiful, and actually, there’s not a lot of inane BS---and yeah what happens “in their sleep” is creepy. So, I do heartily recommend for fans of low key French horror.
Cousins (1989): A remake of a 70’s French classic, Cousin, Cousine (1975), could have been a dull romantic bed-hopping comedy directed by the hack, Joel Schumacher---except for the presence of a beautiful and charming Isabella Rossellini. Her husband (Michael Petersen) is sleeping with Ted Danson’s wife (an entertaining Sean Young)---and because of this infidelity, she falls in love with Danson. You’ll think adultery doesn’t create emotional black holes whilst watching this movie---as Young’s character states of Rossellini, “She’s so nice.” Yes, and lovely. Recommended for anyone who loves Rossellini.
The Affairs of Cellini (1934): This rather slight comedy about affairs in Florence has a comedic Oscar nominated performance from Frank Morgan (the wizard from The Wizard of Oz, 1939) as the Duke. Forgettable fluff, but 30’s stars Fredric March, Constance Bennett, and Fay Wray all share the screen in this forgotten little film. Recommended for fans of nonsensical golden oldies.
The General (1926): The best thing about The General is the awesome cinematography and awesome special effects. Set in the Civil War era, Keaton plays a Southern soldier who isn’t allowed to become a soldier because he’s more important working on the trains. Well, this causes drama with his girlfriend who misinterprets his inability to serve as unpatriotic. Until she gets kidnapped by deserters and he has to save her. A classic of the silent film era.
Import/Export (2007): I’ve found a new director I love! This Austrian/German feature tells the tale a nurse from the Ukraine who heads to Austria to eke out a better existence and an Austrian security guard who delivers good to the Ukraine with his stepfather with the same intentions. While not as tragic as similar films with similar themes, this still manages to be a touching and distressing endeavor about the struggle to make a better life for ourselves.
Barry Lyndon (1975): Ryan O’Neal’s bland screen presence and awful Irish accent nearly ruin this perfect movie. Nearly. Towards the end of Kubrick’s underrated classic, I realized I had become totally and utterly engrossed. The character of Lyndon is a passive, flat dweeb, but it is Kubrick’s craftsmanship that makes this a piece of art. Nearly every static shot of the countryside made me feel as if the film was a living, breathing creature unto itself.
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973): Also a movie that keeps my mind reeling days after watching it---there’s so much going on here I will have to revisit it someday---and it could be discussed for hours. Ana Torrents (the little girl from another Spanish classic, Cria Cuervos!, 1975) guides us through the narrative with her big, brown eyes. Set in Post-civil war Spain, a traveling roadshow brings James Whale’s Frankenstein to her village---and the young lady becomes obsessed with finding the monster’s spirit. Layers upon layers (it helps to know a bit about historical/political context) this film is about mood, experience, and the power of cinema.
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946): The original American version, I made my husband re-watch this me last weekend----Lana Turner and John Garfield were never my favorites, but James Cain’s novels made the best film noirs, and this is no exception. Though Tay Garnett is not the auteur that Billy Wilder and Michael Curtiz were (who handled better adaptations of Cain’s work), the staged accident sequence that has Turner screeching for help as she scales the wall of the craggy mountain, her screams echoing, is eerie and beautiful----and Hume Cronyn as her lawyer is always a sweet treat to see. If you haven’t watched it for a while like me, dig it out for a fun Sunday afternoon.
Another Year (2010): What can I say briefly about Mike Leigh’s latest, other than that I thought it was excellent? He gives us some of the most touching, seemingly banal human exchanges you’re perhaps going to see in film. Lesley Manville gives a heartbreaking performance here as a lonely older woman, and Ruth Sheen is also noteworthy as a warm and gracious friend that makes you wish she knew you, too. Highly recommended (it made my top 45 this year).
Next Friday (2000) Dir. Steve Carr – US
Angels and Demons (2009) Dir. Ron Howard – US
Saw VI (2009) Dir. Kevin Greutert – US
Saw: The Final Chapter (2010) Dir. Kevin Greutert – US
The Banal, the Blah, the Banausic:
Friday After Next (2002) Dir. Marcus Raboy – US
Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (2009) Dir. Shinya Tsukamoto – Japan
Of Interest:
All About the Benjamins (2002) Dir. Kevin Bray – US
MST3K 3000: Santa Claus (1959) Dir. Rene Cardona – Mexico
The Perez Family (1995) Dir. Mira Nair - US
Recommended:
In Their Sleep (2010) Dir. Caroline & Eric du Potet – France
Cousins (1989) Dir. Joel Schumacher – US
The Affairs of Cellini (1934) Dir. Gregory La Cava – US
Essential Cinema:
The General (1926) Dir. Buster Keaton & Clyde Bruckman - US
Import/Export (2007) Dir. Ulrich Seidl – Austria/Germany
Barry Lyndon (1975) Dir. Stanley Kubrick – UK/US
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973) Dir. Victor Erice - Spain
Theatrical Screenings:
Another Year (2010) Dir. Mike Leigh – UK 10/10
Re-watched Goodies:
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) Dir. Tay Garnett – US
Next Friday (2000): Wow, what a terribly written, acted, and produced sequel to what was actually quite a good first film. I can understand why Chris Tucker had nothing to do with this venture. Director Steve Carr is also responsible for cinematic abortions like Doctor Dolittle 2 (2001) and Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009). Bad news bears: he is has been tapped to helm the Short Circuit remake. Faring the worst in this cess is Mike Epps (his first lead role sees him rather forced and uncomfortable) and especially Jacob Vargas as the Hispanic gangsta next door.
Angels and Demons (2009): The camera swings around like the head of a beleaguered dog, seemingly unable to keep up with or focus directly on all the nonsensical action. Tom Hanks’ poorly written character would have been better served if he spoke directly to the camera to explain infinitely useless facts that have little or nothing to do with the plot. A shameless two and a half hours, Ron Howard displays what happens when power is given to a sometimes mediocre craftsman. I was saddened at the presence of all the cast that’s way too good for the material, especially Ewan McGregor and Armin Mueller-Stahl, and Stellan Skarsgard. At least some foreign actors like Ayelet Zurer and Nikolaj Lie Kaas get a nice mainstream credit to put on their resume. This is utter tripe---I used to be hopeful when I saw David Koepp credited as screenwriter—but consider the source material. To quote my sister, this is like Twilight for adults---or bourgeois Christians, to be exact.
Saw VI (2009): It’s really not even worth explaining why this is cess pool cinema. I can’t fathom how all these films made so much money (though this poor performing entry in the series put the proverbial nails in the coffin, shortening the plans to have 8 films become 7). I could go on and on in a useless tirade, but I’m most bemused that Costas Mandylor somehow became the highlight streaking all the way from 3 through 7.
Saw: The Final Chapter (2010): In truth, there’s really nothing that differentiates this from the previous film, except it reeks even more so of fecunditious (not a word) desperation. Yeah, Sean Patrick Flanery and Cary Elwes---poor things.
Friday After Next (2002): Yes, this is actually better than Next Friday---I notice that DJ Pooh is no longer listed as screenwriter, and a music video director took over as director. Still slight and forced, and rather forgettable, at least it has some entertaining moments. The film’s attempt at making light of homosexuality and prison (a la Terry Crews) was a bit much, but at least not as homophobic as I would have expected from an early 00’s urban comedy.
Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (2009): Now, I did enjoy the original Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) and I haven’t seen the second one from 1992, but this third entry, beyond an awesomely cool opening sequence, re-treads the same exact material with special effects that haven’t been enhanced with technology. Of interest to extreme fans of Tsukamoto’s work (though I really recommend A Snake of June, 2002).
All About the Benjamins (2002): I really liked the first half hour of this film, but it unravels pretty quickly as we get into the plot---a lot is riding on the friendship chemistry between Ice Cube and Mike Epps, again, and this wears pretty thin when we realize that the females are given little or nothing to do---especially when Eva Mendes is one of those females. Sad that it becomes a derivative heist auctioneer, but it is of interest, nonetheless.
MST3K: Santa Claus (1959): This late 50’s Mexican film about Santa battling evil (a role usually played by Jesus or God, which leads me to believe that the fundamentalists would denounce this children’s film as blasphemous) seems perfect for the MST3K treatment, but truthfully, it wasn’t one of their best---still, it’s worth a few laughs.
The Perez Family (1995): There’s nothing wrong with Mira Nair’s The Perez Family---just that it is, at time, a tad contrived. I think I wanted to like it more than I eventually did, mostly due to the fact that I loved Nair’s previous film, Mississippi Masala (1991). The premise in intriguing—centering on a boat load of Cuban immigrants that land in Miami circa 1980, per Castro’s release---not a subject on display in American features. The film did get a lot of flack for casting non-Latin actors in primary roles (Marisa Tomei, Alfred Molina, and Anjelica Huston). All give fine performances---I just wanted more.
In Their Sleep (2010): I have a soft spot in my heart for brutally violent French horror films (but not all of them). This one feels a little derivative and stars La Femme Nikita (1990) star Annie Parillaud as a woman who has recently lost her teenage son during a move to the countryside (a lot of bad shit always happens in the tranquil countryside). All alone, she nearly runs over a bleeding youth in the middle of the road one night, pursued by an unknown man that apparently has been burglarizing house in the countryside---but not is all as it seems. While you could easily predict what happens, the cinematography is beautiful, and actually, there’s not a lot of inane BS---and yeah what happens “in their sleep” is creepy. So, I do heartily recommend for fans of low key French horror.
Cousins (1989): A remake of a 70’s French classic, Cousin, Cousine (1975), could have been a dull romantic bed-hopping comedy directed by the hack, Joel Schumacher---except for the presence of a beautiful and charming Isabella Rossellini. Her husband (Michael Petersen) is sleeping with Ted Danson’s wife (an entertaining Sean Young)---and because of this infidelity, she falls in love with Danson. You’ll think adultery doesn’t create emotional black holes whilst watching this movie---as Young’s character states of Rossellini, “She’s so nice.” Yes, and lovely. Recommended for anyone who loves Rossellini.
The Affairs of Cellini (1934): This rather slight comedy about affairs in Florence has a comedic Oscar nominated performance from Frank Morgan (the wizard from The Wizard of Oz, 1939) as the Duke. Forgettable fluff, but 30’s stars Fredric March, Constance Bennett, and Fay Wray all share the screen in this forgotten little film. Recommended for fans of nonsensical golden oldies.
The General (1926): The best thing about The General is the awesome cinematography and awesome special effects. Set in the Civil War era, Keaton plays a Southern soldier who isn’t allowed to become a soldier because he’s more important working on the trains. Well, this causes drama with his girlfriend who misinterprets his inability to serve as unpatriotic. Until she gets kidnapped by deserters and he has to save her. A classic of the silent film era.
Import/Export (2007): I’ve found a new director I love! This Austrian/German feature tells the tale a nurse from the Ukraine who heads to Austria to eke out a better existence and an Austrian security guard who delivers good to the Ukraine with his stepfather with the same intentions. While not as tragic as similar films with similar themes, this still manages to be a touching and distressing endeavor about the struggle to make a better life for ourselves.
Barry Lyndon (1975): Ryan O’Neal’s bland screen presence and awful Irish accent nearly ruin this perfect movie. Nearly. Towards the end of Kubrick’s underrated classic, I realized I had become totally and utterly engrossed. The character of Lyndon is a passive, flat dweeb, but it is Kubrick’s craftsmanship that makes this a piece of art. Nearly every static shot of the countryside made me feel as if the film was a living, breathing creature unto itself.
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973): Also a movie that keeps my mind reeling days after watching it---there’s so much going on here I will have to revisit it someday---and it could be discussed for hours. Ana Torrents (the little girl from another Spanish classic, Cria Cuervos!, 1975) guides us through the narrative with her big, brown eyes. Set in Post-civil war Spain, a traveling roadshow brings James Whale’s Frankenstein to her village---and the young lady becomes obsessed with finding the monster’s spirit. Layers upon layers (it helps to know a bit about historical/political context) this film is about mood, experience, and the power of cinema.
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946): The original American version, I made my husband re-watch this me last weekend----Lana Turner and John Garfield were never my favorites, but James Cain’s novels made the best film noirs, and this is no exception. Though Tay Garnett is not the auteur that Billy Wilder and Michael Curtiz were (who handled better adaptations of Cain’s work), the staged accident sequence that has Turner screeching for help as she scales the wall of the craggy mountain, her screams echoing, is eerie and beautiful----and Hume Cronyn as her lawyer is always a sweet treat to see. If you haven’t watched it for a while like me, dig it out for a fun Sunday afternoon.
Another Year (2010): What can I say briefly about Mike Leigh’s latest, other than that I thought it was excellent? He gives us some of the most touching, seemingly banal human exchanges you’re perhaps going to see in film. Lesley Manville gives a heartbreaking performance here as a lonely older woman, and Ruth Sheen is also noteworthy as a warm and gracious friend that makes you wish she knew you, too. Highly recommended (it made my top 45 this year).
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