Sunday, February 1st "La Strada"

This Sunday's film selection is Frederico Fellini's La Strada (1954), starring Anthony Quinn, Richard Baseheart, and Giulietta Masina, wife of Fellini who starred in a number of his films, including Nights of Cabiria (1957) and Juliet of the Spirits (1965). La Strada tell the story of a girl sold to a circus strongman, played by Masina and Quinn, respectively. Anyone familiar with Fellini should be excited at the mere prospect. It goes with out saying that wine will be available and also antipasto kebabs. If you haven't seen a Fellini film and can't make it to La Strada, I highly recommend the above mentioned films, along with 8 1/2 (1963) and La Dolce Vita (1960).

By the Skin Of Our Teeth

I love learning new facts. I am especially pleased when I learn something new that I can use to great advantage later. Today I learned the word "kegel." Now, I am familiar with what "kegel exercises" are, but was never aware there was an exact term. Since I have not been a part of a pregnancy class, I may have never discovered it. As fate would have it, however, I am now enlightened. And I love it. "Kegelling" should be the new "scissoring." I've also learned, via the interweb, that there are kegel exercises for men. Eventually, with enough exercise, you can hang towels from your genitals and if you're persistent, drill holes and pound nails into things like cheese or soft-wood trees, such as the ever popular conifer family. I thought these skills all came naturally. Hence, my ignorance.

Anyhow, the moral of that story is to teach you all, my darling readers, all several of you that is, something new as today's kegelling was an inspiration. The title for my blog today is a very popular saying, and in no way am I referencing the Thornton Wilder play. Do you know what the saying means or where it came from? Originally, "by the skin of one's teeth" came from the Geneva Bible, and is supposed to indicate a narrow escape from a disaster. For example, "Being hungover, I avoided today's sermon by the skin of my teeth." See. You try it. Obviously, someone/thing (I didn't care to find the exact point of reference-yawn) was attempting a sense of humor in the Bible as we don't have skin on our teeth. Even those poor thalidomide babies didn't have that. And finally, we're getting to the subject of today's assessment, two films that prominently feature teeth.

The Proposition, a 2005 film from Australia, brings together an interesting amalgamation of talents to tell an intriguing story of the 1860's Outback. Above all, it has to feature the most realistic orthodontia in a Western film to date. Guy Pearce stars as Charlie Burns, a man given a proposition, or, rather, an ultimatum by the rural town's local authority, Captain Stanley, played effectively by Ray Winstone. Pearce's proposition is to hunt down and kill his older brother or his younger brother will be hanged. Come to find, an unspecified amount of time before the narrative begins, we learn that all three of the Burns brothers raped and killed a pregnant woman who happened to be best friends with Winstone's wife, played by the quiet and potently melancholy Emily Watson. John Hurt also pops up as a strange little character--interesting how he always manages to get paid to portray alcoholics---or is that just worked in with his presence? I love John Hurt, don't get me wrong, he takes part in a ton of films I love and respect, both in quality and subject matter.

Back to the story, Guy Pearce is so mild mannered and his younger brother so weak and pitiful it's hard to imagine them raping a pregnant woman---but they did, complicating those usual warm and fuzzy feelings people seem to have when watching Guy Pearce. Danny Huston, as the extremely psychotic older brother is both unnerving and believable. I have always found Danny Huston to be slightly pompous and repugnant as he often portrays seedy individuals, like in Birth (2004). Interestingly, Huston used to be married to Virginia Madsen, and his sister, of course, is Anjelica.

The Proposition is an excellent film, in the end being, I believe, about morality. Each character is a bit ambiguous as to whether they're truly good or truly bad---the point being maybe, that time and place was about survival of the fittest. An extremely violent film, it was written by Nick Cave, of 'Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds." I was extremely impressed, and heartily recommend this film. I realize I haven't divulged a great deal of the plot, but you should just see it yourself. Directed by John Hillcoat (The Road - 2009). And yes, with the exception of Watson, everyone appears to have something akin to skin on their teeth.

The other toothy title up for discussion is the 2007 film, Teeth. Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, (son of painter Roy Lichtenstein), Teeth is the type of tongue in cheek black comedy/horror film I adore. Concerning the exploits of Dawn (played marvelously by Jess Weixler), and her repressed League of Virgins-like Christian outlook on sex, we learn that Dawn possesses that horrific, mythical subject that has terrified phallic cultures since the beginning of time: the vagina dentata. In other words, a toothed vagina. Conveniently, Dawn has a mutation in her female genitals that allows her vagina to literally bite off things that poke her when she feels threatened. You know, like fingers and stuff. The film does not paint heterosexual men in a kind light at all, catapulting the film at times into what could be described as perversely uproarious. It's not so far fetched in its treatment of how men treat naive or vulnerable women. I haven't seen a gynecologist pull those tricks since The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (1992). All of the men in Dawn's life are most certainly despicable and deserving of their, ummm, amputations. If the director's name is familiar it's because before Teeth he appeared most notably Ang Lee's excellent film, The Wedding Banquet (1993) as Simon. Personally, I find it amusing that the director of Teeth is gay---who else could get away with a horror film based on one of academia's most argued and profound symbols attached to portrayals of female sexuality in the horror genre? Certainly not heterosexual men or lesbians. Maybe a militant feminist. I guess I could imagine Gloria Steinem helming something similarly themed. Maybe not Betty Friedan, though. I'd make an Ann Coulter joke here but maybe that would seem out of line.

Overall, if you haven't seen this film, seek it out, it's a wicked little thing. I love the scene where Dawn loses her virginity in the dark, cavernous cave---the film effectively displays numerous scenes with vaginal imagery and I believe makes one rethink using crass words like 'snatch.' So in the end, Teeth is one of the best female powered horror films I've seen in a while.

Wednesday, January 28 -- Victor Salva's "Clownhouse" (1989)

I realize this may be in bad taste for a GLBT themed movie night, but I have chosen Victor Salva's 1989 horror flic Clownhouse as this Wednesday's selection. You may at first not blink twice at the title or the director's name, however, if I were to tell you he directed Powder (1995), then your little wheels would start to turn, feebly maybe, but turn they would. As some of you may recall, Victor Salva was convicted of pederasty after taping sexual acts with a young actor from his feature film debut, Clownhouse. The actor, Nathan Forrest Winters, went on to crusade against Salva when Powder was released, causing a bit of boycott at the box-office. However, that particular film was still critically well-acclaimed. Salva originally only served 15 months of his 3 year sentence. Strangely enough, he also directed Jeepers Creepers (2001) and Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), with no word of his past misdeed to hamper the huge success of either of these films. Before you judge, remember that Roman Polanski fled the country after admitting to having sex with a 13 year old girl (in Jack Nicholson's flat) and still remains in exile. Add to that, Polanski has since won an Oscar for best director and remains a considerable figure in the art-house and pop culture scene.

Anyhow, Clownhouse should make for a fun little film, as clowns are creepy anyway. This film is also noted as the film debut for Sam Rockwell. I will be making Cotton Candy Cake to compliment the evening. Cheers.

For a decent review of the film, visit this link:

http://www.popcornpictures.co.uk/cfilms/clownhouse.shtml

Gay Samurais, Dead Rappers, & Bette Davis (Now there's a movie title)

As always, there's a ton of stuff I've seen that I don't make time to flesh out. Some films you see and you give them as much thought like the time your mom told you that smoking cigarettes was bad or when Whitney told us crack was whack. Anyhow, here's some recent flics:

Non-Theatrical Release:

Prayers For Bobby (2009) - Yes, Sigourney's new film. I was surprised at the quality of this made-for-cable venture, Ms. Weaver's first. You don't have to be gay to get misty at this awesomely acted little film (except for Scott Bailey--he's a little stiff, so to speak). If you haven't managed to see this, please do. I don't know how much it will change ignorant peoples' minds, but I am so happy to see my lovely lady in a film with a subject very near and dear to my heart. She better get a damn Emmy. I shouldn't write any more because I only want to say gushy things. Most of all, I was surprised it was not the usual cheesy Lifetime fare and am truly proud to tout this as a class act. Though set in the early 1980's, the sort of happenings in Prayers For Bobby are still happening today.

Theatrical Releases:

My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009) - Now, I haven't seen the original 1981 film, but I'm willing to bet it's a more forgive able foray into shit-tastic films than this one. Jaime King and the gay boy from "Dawson's Creek" turn in some pretty felch inducing performances. But I can't blame them---the material is horrendous. Yes, it's 3-D and I thought it would be fun and 2009 looks to be the year 3-D is resurrected. (My gal Siggy's got Avatar coming in December!). After about ten minutes, I realized that 3-D wears thin. I'd rather watch a drunken sorority girl wipe her ass with a Pom-Pom in 3-D for 60 minutes, but then, I didn't get to choose.

Notorious (2009) -- Not a remake of one of my favorite Hitchcock films (thankfully, for now), but an overall decent biopic about slain rap artist Biggie Smalls, aka the Notorious B.I.G. Jamal Woodard stars as Christopher "Biggie" Wallace (aka the man with more handles than a drag queen in heat) and turns in a laudable performance. I love Angela Bassett and she gets to play Ms. Wallace, his mother. I did detect a note of a Jamaican accent in certain scenes with Ms. Bassett, but she seemed to drift in and out--maybe that's just me. I guess if I was the director, George Tillman Jr., and my only previous film was the tragically overwrought Men of Honor (2000), I wouldn't have tried to tell Angela what to do. I've heard that the real Ms. Wallace was happy with the film. And why shouldn't she be? I'd be honored to have Angela Bassett portray me in a film. But unless it's directed by Todd Solondz as a followup to Palindromes (2004), this will never come to fruition. And Angela's biceps will always look nicer than mine. Dismay. Now, L'il Kim, on the other hand, reportedly is unhappy with aspects of the film. I, in fact, found the film to treat her rather gingerly and Naturi Naughton's performance induced more sympathy for L'il Kim than ever that woman could on her own. And the other notable performance was Derek Luke as P Diddy, and not because his performance was a revelation. Rather, Mr. Luke is about fifteen thousand times better looking than Puffy could ever hope to be. So, there's someone else that should be happy with a film that is otherwise a standard biopic. Sadly, there have already been incidents of violence, including death, in several locations where this film is showing. Does that make cinema look powerful or humans look ridiculous?

Gran Torino (2008) -- I definitely did not want to see this film after seeing the preview, which I thought looked hokey, offensive, and a little racist. I mean, a Hmong family needing and appreciating the protection of a 70 year old crotchety white man after he continually has treated them like shit? I don't think so. And after that awful piece of shit called The Changeling, starring Angelina Jolie in the most undeserved Oscar nominated role since I can't even think I am SO irritated, I really didn't want to touch this with a ten foot pole. Or any pole. But I happened to catch it and I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, I liked it a bit. Clint is very enjoyable but the film is filled with a plethora of racial slurs, the reason it didn't make one of my top choices of the year. In the end, the film makes you cheer for Clint's hard-nosed softie. After the film was over I kept returning to what I didn't like and I kept realizing that if Clint's character was someone I met in real life, I wouldn't feel the same way. I'd say, the greatest generation or not, you can't call anyone non-white whatever you'd like. Plus the pastor sub-plot annoyed me to no end, and the little redhead looked more like a chubby bull-dyke than any kind of Irish Catholic priest. Also irritating, Clint insists on singing (at least half of) the 'theme' song that plays at the film's end. I could have done without that. Clint sounds like Tom Waits, only more like he was embalmed.

DVD Reviews:

Taboo (1999) -- What may stand as Nagisa Oshima's (In the Realm of the Senses - 1967) last film, Taboo centers around the story of a gay samurai set in the world of 1865 Kyoto. I found Oshima's latest effort to be strikingly intriguing, almost bordering on black comedy. The film tells the story of an appealing and rather androgynous young samuari who joins a shogunite only to ignite discord amongst the other samurais, all who wish to court (or bed) the young fellow. A recent retrospective was done on Oshima's films at the Walker in Minneapolis. This was one you shouldn't have missed if you did.

Happy Together (1997) -- Another movie night feature, Happy Together makes me appreciate Wong Kar Wai even more than I already do. His film manages to be quite melancholy, but also rather touching and hopeful. Gorgeous, gorgeous cinematography and a touching performance from the excellent heartthrob, Tony Leung. See it if you haven't.

Sorry, Haters (2005) -- I remember vaguely hearing of this film upon it's release and I finally got around to watching it, and I LOVED it. Robin Wright Penn made me so uncomfortable I actually had to take a film break. I also love seeing Elodie Bouchez (Wild Reeds -- 1994; The Dreamlife of Angels -- 1997), though her part is small here. A film that rather prominently tries for a political, 9/11 bent (I'm not sure how much I really loved this angle, but it manages to remain plausible), Penn and Abdel Kechiche are heartbreaking and lovely. I found the film to be very intense and vicious. Kechiche is also the director of Secret of the Grain, currently garnering a lot of attention. Sandra Oh is also a fun little force and is used effectively in her handful of scenes. Josh Hamlilton also pops up randomly (as he usually seems to--does he have a day job?). See this, please.

Dante 01 (2008) -- Another movie night feature, Marc Caro's first feature film solo is quite disappointing. I can understand why it didn't get distributed here. While beautiful to watch, the plot is hammed up by some not well-explained Biblical imagery mixed randomly with historical references and other ancient mythologies. I would recommend this only to die hard fans of Delicatessen (1991) and City of Lost Children (1995), both of which Caro co-directed with Jean Pierre Jeunet. Linh Dan Pham and Jeunet regular Dominique Pinon are featured in Dante 01.

Chocolate Babies (1997) -- I've owned this strange little independent feature for a few years on VHS (it was never transferred to DVD) and I finally managed to watch it. A somewhat fractured narrative, the only film directed by Stephen Winter was nevertheless entertaining and highlights a subject matter that I wish were discussed in film more often, mainly AIDS/HIV and it's effect on the lives of individuals that aren't upwardly mobile gay white men. Chocolate Babies is very much for the gay community and it borders on black comedy, but what do you expect from a film about a bunch of noisy, bitchy queens (they're own handle, not mine!). Most entertaining of all was the actor portraying Larva, Dudley Findlay, Jr. Now there's someone I wish was in more films.

Les Vampires (1915) -- The most interesting aspect of this 7 hour silent French serial is getting to see 1915 Paris. Filmed on the fly and banned for years due to its apparent glorification of crime, Les Vampires is a long series of shenanigans concerning a group of jewel thieves in Paris that refer to themselves as the Vampires. Most notable of the group is Irma Vep (an anagram for vampire) played by silent film star, Musidora who reminds me quite a bit of actress Theda Bara (whose name is an anagram for Arab Death) -- and you think actors are strange now. Some excellent stunts and entertaining energy levels help you through the breakneak speed of the haphazard plot. Directed by Louis Feuillade. And yes, it took two sittings, my friend Erik who is as crazy about film as me, some pizza and a minimal amount of alcohol.

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul (1964) -- The first film in Jose Mojica Marin's Coffin Joe trilogy (actually, as of 2008, quadrilogy), introduces us to Ze, an undertaker with creepy fingernails and a LOT of machismo to back up his evil nature. Coffin Joe is apparently the equivalent of the Brazilian boogeyman and I must say, I see why these films are cult classics. I mean, the plot really does center around a creepy gravedigger who prowls the night to find a female to bear him a son and continue his "bloodline" jibberish (so a bit old school--maybe he should had learned he could easily pay for someone to do that---like in If These Walls Could Talk 2). I am excited to see the followups, Tonight I Will Eat Your Corpse (1967) and Awakening of the Beast (1970).

The Skin Game (1931) -- An early Hitchcock I had been neglecting to see, I was pleasantly surprised. Concerning the age old predicament between old money and new money, this film tells an effective little tale about vanity, and of course, a woman with a past of prostitution that unravels every one's plans. Oh those hookers, they ruin everything.

Confusion of Genders (2000) --A goofball comedy from France that's basically about one very bisexual man is both very European in it's tastes but also not funny. What's meant, I think, to be a comedy of errors sort of situation is instead a bit awkward and silly. Pascal Gregory stars, and even his charismatic self couldn't elevate this one beyond mediocrity. Yes, Pascal has aged very well, tres, tres bien. However, he can't keep it in his pants and I get tired watching people fling themselves at assholes. I was also irritated because this was the second film I recently watched where a rather gorgeous young woman makes herself look like a boy to please a gay man. That maneuver did not work for this film, directed by Ilan Duran Cohen.

Two Drifters (2005) -- Directed by Joao Pedro Rodrigues, this strange little story was both entertaining and it stayed with me after watching it. This was the other aforementioned film about a beautiful young woman developing an obsession with a young gay man. However, as this film's main character, Ana Cristina de Oliveira stars as Odete -- and she is batshit crazy. And I believed her transformation. Concerning a handsome young man mourning the tragic death of his boyfriend, Odete begins to assume the dead lover's identity after a failed hysterical pregnancy. And I LOVED the very last scene. Lovely and perverted.

The Maids (1974) -- A very British production of Jean Genet's play, Glenda Jackson and Susannah York are both disturbing and also batshit crazy as the rather neurotic sisters hired as maids for a very passive aggressive woman. Reminiscent of the excellent Sister, My Sister (1994), but it's pretty talky.

3 Bette Davis:

Beyond the Forest (1949)
All About Eve (1950)
Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)

Now, I'm probably more of a Joan Crawford guy--she wasn't a better actress than Bette Davis but she was so damn over the top I always have a good time watching old Joan movies. I also collect Bette Davis films but haven't seen as many. Luckily, I started my boyfriend on the excellent The Anniversary (1968), and he has developed one of those fascinations I love to foster. So recently we watched Beyond the Forest, the film that infamously ended Bette's relationship with Warner Bros. and which includes the famous line "What a dump!" Altogether, not a bad film. However, Bette Davis strangely tosses herself into a ditch and then seems to rapidly develop what seemed to be emphysema. This is never explained, even though Joseph Cotten, as her husband, is a doctor. Overall, supreme camp from director King Vidor--but good camp, as only Bette would have it.

Now, I've seen All About Eve before but it was years ago. I think I forgot how damn excellent the whole picture is. Excellent cast, excellent Bette. George Sanders always got on my nerves a bit--it's that bored, monotonous voice he drones on with, so it's strange that he's the only one that got an Oscar while Thelma Ritter, Bette, Anne Baxter, and Celeste Holm were all nominated. But then Anne Baxter got herself nominated for Best Actress and split the votes so neither she nor Bette won. And so Judy Holliday won instead. Who cares about Judy? Plus, I love Joseph Mankiewicz, who would go on to direct one of my favorite films of all time, Suddenly, Last Summer (1959). And how can you not want to beat Anne Baxter's face through the whole first half of the film? Oh Moses, Moses! I love doing Ann impressions from The Ten Commandments (1956). It's up there with Nancy Kerrigan.

As for Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte, it's not quite as good as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, but it's still pretty damn good. Agnes Moorhead is amazingly creepy as Davis' maid, Velma--she looks like a sewer rat that some strange kid kept as pet and tortured by making the creature wear a dress and a wig made out of a mop. My favorite behind the scenes story about this film goes back to the Crawford/Davis feud on Baby Jane -- Davis was nominated for an Oscar in that film and Crawford was not. Davis was almost positive she would win, but Crawford, pissed that she wasn't nominated, contacted all four of the Best Actress nominees and asked if she could accept their award for them if they weren't planning on attending. As fate would have it, Anne Bancroft could not attend the ceremony. As you know, Anne Bancroft did win that year for The Miracle Worker. Legend has it that Joan Crawford pushed Bette Davis out of the way backstage stating, "I have an Oscar to accept" when Bancroft's name was announced. Apparently Davis never let this go and when Robert Aldrich began to develop the followup to Baby Jane, Davis finnagled her way into being a producer, granting her creative control. Joan Crawford was originally set to star, but Bette, bent on vengeance, eventually forced Crawford into faking illness to get off the set and Olivia de Havilland replaced her. As fate would have it again, Davis was not nominated for Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte, but Agnes Moorhead deservedly was. If you haven't seen it, please do so. Also stars Joseph Cotten and is Bruce Dern's film debut.

Saturday, January 24th -- WORLD PREMIERE "Prayers For Bobby"

Now I know everyone is aware of my thoughts on Sigourney Weaver, so I had to honor her and have a get together for the World Premiere of her first made-for-cable feature, Prayers For Bobby. Directed by Russell Mulcahy, who also helmed a few episodes of "Queer as Folk," Bobby relates the true story of Mary Griffiths and the suicide of her son Bobby because she couldn't accept his homosexuality. After his death, Griffiths became a gay rights advocate. The film, which is getting decent reviews and rave reviews for Sigourney Weaver, looks to be an important event not to miss, especially if you know me. The film also stars Ryan Kelley as Bobby and Henry Czerny (The Ice Storm - 1997) as Papa Griffiths. If I didn't inform you personally and you know me, get a hold of me for details.

The Unborn – aka The Boy with the Striped Irises (2009)

What is this poster trying to say? Who is the audience? This poster looks like he's rather angrily singing some Bible verses, maybe against abortion? Is it a heavily accented Irish drama concerning birth control, Catholics, and Angelina Jolie?

Would you have guessed it's about a Jewish demon from Auschwitz trying to surreptitiously possess a young Jewish maiden in 2009? Well I certainly didn't.

Before we begin deconstructing this lovely little piece of cinematic cancer, I want to remind you of an age old adage about people—basically, there are two kinds; those who believe the cup is half empty, and those that believe it is half full. If you are the latter, then you would say that the new horror film, The Unborn, is perhaps the best Jewish Horror Movie of 2009. If you are the former, then maybe you’d say this film is an anti-Semitic Horror film (or, really, not worth anyone’s time and energy).

It’s odd, but this film fits into the strange phenomenon of Holocaust/WWII themed films that opened over the past several months: Good, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, Valkyrie, Defiance, The Reader, etc. Are any of these in German? No. I haven’t seen all of these (I just can’t bring myself to give Tom Cruise money at the box office) but I’m going to be a slippery slope (no pun intended) and say that they were all relatively better than The Unborn, which went wrong in so many ways, I have to devise a plan of attack.

The CAST: Let’s begin with the film’s pretty little lead, Odette Yustman, who bravely portrays a young teenager who is in danger of being possessed by, what is colloquially referred to, as a dybbuk (which is, roughly, a Jewish demon). Ms. Yustman was previously blasted across our cinema screens in last year’s Cloverfield, which I will admit is less irritating, but still a trial in logical patience. She was the young lady whom the hero had to trek across the city to rescue because he had seemingly shagged her months before, and thereby caused the death of all his vacuous disciples while en route. Ms. Yustman’s performance in this new schlock-fest is, for lack of a better word, garbage. It’s about on par with Jessica Alba’s turn in The Eye. (To tell the truth, most of Alba’s astute characterizations come across as though she really were blind). Sadly, Yustman has the most screen time, the worst dialogue and I really wanted to tell the demon to possess a less bland and boring Jewish girl.

Next, we have Jane Alexander. Yes, that’s the same Oscar nominated Jane from The Great White Hope (1970), All the President’s Men (1976), Kramer Vs. Kramer (1979), and Testament (1983). So what’s she doing here? Well, Jane was nice and creepy in her small role in The Ring (2002), but here, she comes across a little silly, what with her faux-German accent, clutching a pointy Jewish star in the nursing home and being saddled with explaining just what silly shenanigans are happening to the film’s heroine. She strangely resembles Anjelica Huston in her nursing home scenes from Choke (2008), but in that film, Huston also played herself in the twenty-year flashbacks. Hmmmm.

Next stop on the Pointless Express is the boyfriend, played Cam Gigandet, who had to have a few shirtless scenes in order to elevate the dullness of his presence. Mr. Gigandet was also in another of 2008’s worst films, Twilight.

The saddest travesty of The Unborn, cast-wise? GARY OLDMAN. What the hell, Gary? Couldn’t they have found a more believable Jewish rabbi? Was it the writer’s strike Gary? I mean, this is the man that was in The Professional (1994) and True Romance (1993). And all those god-help-me-isn’t-the-last-one-filmed-yet Harry Potter movies! I’m guessing that the director, who got screenwriter cred for The Dark Knight (2008), somehow manipulated or drugged Mr. Oldman into performing in this debauchery. Or like poor Gina Gershon in Showgirls (1995), maybe he just didn’t read the script. Either way, his faux-Jewish wig-hair-do and the exorcism scene made me wish this was straight to DVD for Gary’s sake. And almost not worthy of complaining about is Carla Gugino (Sin City – 2008; Spy Kids – 2001), who barely blips onto screen in flashbacks as Yustman’s mentally deranged mother who hanged herself. Maybe someone did read the script.

The PLOT: (SPOILER ALERT). Now I am sorry if I ruin the phantasmagorical anti-climactic elements of this tripe, so do not read on if you want to savor this for yourself. I will say one nice thing—I did like one or two little set-pieces that could have been considerably creepy if used by the right director. But from the opening scenes on, I was struck by how poorly this whole concept was played out. It’s never really clear how old the three teens are. Gigandet is older than I am and Yustman is the same age as me. Yet they all live in their parents’ huge mansions and their parents never seem to be home. However, in one classroom scene set in a lecture hall (with a benign discussion of what existed before time or some such vague hoodoo) it seems these youngins are in college. Hmmm? Which leads me to awful scene number one: Yustman babysitting. Whether or not she’s in college, the little boy she’s sitting manages to bitch-slap her and utter the awful line “Jumby wants to be born.” Several instances later and Yustman is fake-girl-crying/screeching, “He said….Jumby wants to be born!” Oh, the horror! Yes, I laughed. I was thinking of Jomby from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. I mean, come on. Jumby? Plus, Yustman keeps seeing this bedraggled little boy all over who looks like a street-sweeper from Oliver Twist, with his computer generated luminescent eyes that are supposed to be creepy. Then Yustman’s irises start to change into this color.

Well then! the plot takes another nosedive when Yustman visits the eye doctor who tells her she may have been a twin. Lo and Behold! She asks her busy bee dad, who informs her that in utero, her umbilical cord strangled her twin brother. Evil bitch. This upsets Yustman so much, she digs through some old things in some readily accessible room in her pristine home and finds a news clipping that leads her to Jane Alexander. Yustman discovers that Alexander is her grandma, and she’s Jewish. Sacre Bleu! Her grandma was a fraternal twin in Auschwitz and the street urchin Yustman keeps seeing is her great-uncle, (grandma’s bro), who Dr. Mengele killed by presumably injecting some kind of glowing radioactive material into his eyeballs. Well, the little boy died but then came back possessed by the aforementioned Jewish demon. Right, right, I buy it. EXCEPT that anyone who knows anything about Mengele knows his real interest was with IDENTICAL twins. But I guess he probably killed a load of frats (I also loved the flashback sequence in which the twins arrive at Auschwitz, are offered candy, and also have pristine, un-stained blue mittens). Anyhow, Jane somehow pushed the spirit back to somewhere, something mumble mumble (it’s never divulged) and then it came back to get the twins in Jane’s daughter’s tummy (but Yustman’s fetus took care of that!) and now, an unsaid, undisclosed number of years have passed and it wants Yustman. Finally! This twin angle----I had a big problem with it. “Twins are like mirrors. And mirrors are gateways.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Identical twins are mirrors, not fraternal twins (e.g., not mirror images). And then, the second laugh out loud line, coming from Alexander, “The dybbuk has a taste for our family’s blood.” Oh, now it’s all clear to me. Hence, this is an anti-Semitic horror movie, a new type of J-horror, if you will. What am I supposed to think? A demon possesses a dead Jewish twin in a concentration camp and continues to harass and molest these poor Jewish ladies because why? They’re JEWISH! Nazi demon. Apparently the demon is unaware that there are plenty of Jewish twins to needlessly possess. If anyone cares to be offended, spread the word, I guess.

Finally, the in-congruencies. First, the neighbor child that keeps popping up (also the ugliest kid I think I’ve seen in film---only because he looks a little down-syndromey---he actually isn’t special, so I think it’s okay to stick with ugly/homely), it’s never explained why he gets possessed. He’s not a twin…….soooo....

Second, there’s a scene where Yustman and her boyfriend go out dancing at a club. She, of course, has a histrionic episode in the bathroom (which no other young ladies use in at least an 8 minute time span---a bit unrealistic). Afterwards, Yustman’s at home, chatting and crying and cooing at her girlfriend online. Then she goes to bed. Then she sleeps long enough to have a nightmare. Then her grandma calls her to come over as she needs to see something. Then Yustman exclaims, “But it’s midnight!” Really? I guess when I go clubbing at 4PM I can accomplish a lot by midnight, too.

And in that bathroom scene, a bunch of potato bugs soaked in poopy liquid crawl all over Yustman. In fact, potato bugs pop up all over. This is never explained and there aren’t any potatoes. (These are actually Jerusalem crickets---and they don’t have any strange ties to Jews, demons, or anything evil---as you can see, this awful director made me want to check the facts).
I also found it funny that Gary Oldman has to blow through a big mammoth horn before beginning his Hebrew chanting during the exorcism—how Celtic. Another fun moment was when the audience learns that Yustman’s reference book (which she seemingly steals from the public library) is called “The Book of Mirrors,” (which sounds like a quick read at least) and is technically a book about Kabbalah mysticism. And then it dawned on me---Madonna may have, just may have had a hand in writing this awful little jaundiced turpitude. And maybe she was credited under a pseudonym---you know, an Alan Smithee kinda thing. Ru Paul calls her Madogma. I say Madybbuk.

Also, our film’s heroine can’t even do everything she’s told. Alexander tells her to smash every mirror in the house, burn the broken pieces, then bury them in the back yard. Voila, regenerated hair growth. My dybbuk instructed me to do the same. No luck. But the film blatantly shows us that Yustman neglected to burn ALL of the mirror pieces. Bitch is asking for it.
One last final thought….before I tell you to ignore this film…..I was initially excited about hearing there was a new horror movie called The Unborn. Immediately, I though to myself, “YES! A Remake of that Brooke Adams movie from the early 90’s!” If you saw it, (I’m chuckling to myself), maybe you’ll understand. I never cared for Adams, (she was a little blank, and, frankly, homely, as if she were Annabella Sciorra’s janky sister) but the film, directed by B-Schlockmeister Roger Corman, has some amazingly bad views on abortion, creepy mutant-killer babies, and motherhood obsession—all themes I wouldn’t mind cinematically revisiting (I love It’s Alive – 1974). Most thrilling of all in 1991’s The Unborn: Kathy Griffin as a lesbian, getting clunked to death with a hammer.

Wednesday, January 21 -- Wong Kar Wai's Happy Together (1997)

Wednesday night's film is from highly acclaimed Chinese director, Wong Kar Wai. You may be familiar with some of his more famous works, Chungking Express (1994), In the Mood For Love (2000), and 2046 (2004). Recently, Wong Kar Wai recut his 1994 epic, Ashes of Time, which was released in the States in 2008 as Ashes of Time Redux, and also in 2008, his first English speaking film was released, My Blueberry Nights, starring musical artist Norah Jones, Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, Jude Law, and David Strathairn. (And I could not understand why Norah Jones was cast as the lead, being the least interesting screen presence I've seen since Jeff Fahey).

For anyone familiar with Chinese film or Chinese culture, representations of sexuality, in any context, is taboo. Wong Kar Wai's award winning 1997 film, Happy Together, centers around two young men from Hong Kong as they arrive in Argentina and the subsequent ups and downs of their relationship. Starring Chinese superstars Leslie Cheung (Farewell My Concubine - 1993), and Tony Leung (Infernal Affairs - 2002, In the Mood For Love - 2000). Below is the link for a lovely review:

http://www.reel.com/movie.asp?MID=40708&buy=closed&Tab=reviews&CID=13#tabs

I'm sure I will try to have something festive like rainbow colored dim sum. But if that doesn't work out, there's always pizza rolls. Be there for the importance. Be there for the love.

Ozonian Pleasure/Contemporary Sexploitation

Since this blog is dedicated to those seeking to discover/uncover interesting cinema (and the enduring career of Sigourney Weaver) (and let's throw in the GLBTs I guess---yes, that includes allies. I forgot that goddamn long acronym, something like MGLBTQAXXX), I decided to avoid a continuing list of the best and worst type forum and simply discuss what I've watched as I go along, and, get this, I would title each blog entry with clever references to the better/more exciting selections I've watched. My aim is to revolutionize this medium known as the blog. Small steps, my friends. Baby steps.

Two recent titles over the past week that I've had the pleasure to catch were Francois Ozon's Under the Sand (2000) and a movie night screening, Donkey Punch (2008).

Under the Sand

Francois Ozon stands as one of my absolute favorite directors, not to mention one of the best things to come out of France since creme brulee. A diverse and compelling auteur (yes, he is) Ozon has sparked his own term to describe his work. Ozon, who I believe is an openly gay filmmaker, often presents a dark and subversive portrait with whatever the subject happens to be. I wouldn't say his body of work is overly queer, but if ever one could point to the oft mentioned queer sensibility, Ozon has it. I do have a problem with what critics call "Ozonian," as I believe the filmmaker himself has developed several distinct styles, depending on the genre he is playing with. (It bugs me how anything even slightly unnerving or eerie in film is automatically referred to as Hitchcockian---lazy, lazy). What else I love about Ozon is that he has a very obvious passion for actresses---French ones, in particular, of course. So with films like 8 Women (2002), and his trio of films with Charlotte Rampling, I can't help but love his work. Ozon's latest work, Angel (2007), hasn't been that warmly received. His second English speaking feature, the film stars Romola Garai and features Rampling and Sam Neill. The film felt anything but that vague term, Ozonian. I didn't care for it, per se, but it was far from awful. Anyhow, surprisingly, for as much as I seek out his work, I hadn't seen his most critically acclaimed film, Under the Sand, the film that I believe sealed his reputation as a certifiable force to reckon with in the art-house scene, and also gave Charlotte Rampling the most attention she had received for quite some time. She would get even more attention in the excellent Swimming Pool (2003). Anyhow, for a film that Ingmar Bergman said he could watch everyday, I surprised myself by putting this off for so long. And I was not disappointed. When Ozon does drama, he is subtle, but quietly devastating. While watching Under the Sand, I realized that Ozon must find something intriguing or perhaps engulfing about the sea, or large bodies of water. The ocean features prominently as a destructive force or a type of burial ground in two other excellent dramas, See the Sea (1997) and Time to Leave (2005).

Rampling's performance is both expressive and subtlety intense as a woman who, while on vacation with her husband, wakes up on the beach to discover her husband of 25 years has disappeared. The film is an exercise in grief and despair at the loss of a loved one. The film is tender and heartbreaking as we follow Rampling pretending to herself that her husband is still alive. She continually refers to him in the present tense, even though she begins a haphazard relationship with the friend of a friend, portrayed by the excellent Jacques Nolot, an excellent filmmaker in his own right. (Nolot directed his own trilogy of loosely themed films, known, I believe as a kind of gay trilogy---the most accessible to see in the US is Porn Theater - 2002).
One of my favorite scenes from Under the Sand is when Nolot and Rampling are on a date. Her character is a professor of literature and she just happens to be teaching Virginia Woolf's exercise in grief, The Waves. For anyone who has read Woolf, it's a difficult but rewarding experience. For those of you who love interconnecting themes, my pulse quickened at the hint of Woolf, and in particular, this novel. The Waves was an experiment in form for Woolf, and is about a group of characters' personal soliloquies dealing with the death of a close friend. Waves of grief and waves on the beach, I ate this shit up. Additionally, Woolf wrote this experimental novel when she apparently was at the height of an intense affair with Vita Sackville-West. As a strong proponent of queer theory, (for those in the know), I believe Under the Sand has quite a lot offer for a queer reading. The presence of Nolot, Ozon and Woolf make for more than a simple Ozonian narrative---and then pair this with Time to Leave---and I smell another thesis.......

Back to that scene---Rampling eloquently, in English, recites Virginia Woolf's suicide note. I believe I had to pause the film and re-watch that scene. This wasn't easy, dear readers, as my copy is VHS. I will be re buying this one in the correct format, btw. And Rampling, btw, looks AMAZING for her age (and still does). Her beauty, which is still breathtaking, is amazing to see over her long career (see her as viperous bitch in Georgy Girl - 1966 and avoid Basic Instinct II -- 2006, she just needed a paycheck). In the end, if there is such a thing as Ozonian pleasure, this film is the ticket. And I would love to have a dose everyday.

Contemporary Sexploitation

Yes, my avid followers will see that I recently had a movie night which included Donkey Punch. I was pleasantly surprised with Oliver Blackburn's feature film debut, and it is a fun little romp to sit through with a group of friends. At moments intense and also irritating, the film is virtually a throwback to those fun, gritty, misogynistic horror films from the 1970's, an era that filmmakers seem oh so desperate to return to. Alas, it is not the 1970's anymore and the world is changing. Kudos to Blackburn, who takes the sexploitation angle and makes it at least entertaining. Several times during my viewing of this film I did become slightly nostalgic for I Spit On Your Grave (1978) and Last House on the Left (1972). While Donkey Punch fails to empower it's female victims (the poor things make stupid choices all the way to the end), it's at least a decent homage to what's come before. The title, of course, refers to a violent, sadistic sexual "maneuver," that as one character points out in the film, is realistically one of those urban legends that everyone talks about but never has experienced (e.g., a Dirty Sanchez, felching, etc.) Needless to say, a nubile young man performs a donkey punch, accidentally killing one of the film's three female characters. And yes, the real heroine ends up being the young woman that kept her pants on. Very Jamie-Lee Curtis. The film, as most in the genre, does not paint men in a complimentary light, both in their relation to women and to each other. And you can't help but cheer at a fun moment involving a flare gun. I don't believe that will spoil anything in this devilish little feature. Go see it if you get the chance. By the way, I am not a misogynist. Check out my interests in my profile if you don't believe me.

Sunday, January 18th, 2009 - Donkey Punch (2008) & Dante 01 (2008)

span>Donkey Punch, the feature debut of Oliver Blackburn, writer of Fabrice Du Welz's excellent sophomore film, Vinyan, one of the best films I got to see in Toronto, 2008. FYI, Donkey Punch revolves around the fun little sexual move most of us have experienced. The survival of the fittest sort of maneuver. A supposedly dark and titillating little thriller, I've been looking forward to this for some time. Of course I will be serving homemade drinks that share the same nostalgic title. You know, the drink that costs something like $15 dollars at Chino Latino, the trendy little sycophant restaurant/bar in Minneapolis. FYI, this hasn't shown in theaters yet (beyond the festival circuits), which seems to be our theme for Sunday's films.

Our second feature will be Dante 01, the first solo feature of Marc Caro, one of the brilliant minds behind Delicatessen (1991), and City of Lost Children (1995). Caro's co-director on both films, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who went on to direct Alien: Resurrection (1997) -- you should be able to gauge what I think of that effort --, Amelie (2001), and A Very Long Engagement (2004), are all excellent, so it's wonderful to see Caro directing his own little weird French Sci-Fi film which appears to be full of strange Biblical symbolism (having to do something with Dante's "Inferno"). Starring Jeunet regular, Dominque Pinon and Linh Dan Pham (Indochine - 1992). This film was not released for American audiences. I love my trusty multi-region DVD player. F-off global bureaucracy.

Hope to see you bunnies there about 6PM, an hour earlier than usual, for the Sinema Degradation.

More on the way about things I've seen and heard.........

Honorable Mentions of 2008

Not everyone can be a winner. We all know this. Yes we do. Bitter thoughts of childhood floating to the surface of your pond-like, miasma of a psyche---floating to rest on the lily-pads of your memory and expel noxious, flatulent-like odors. At least some of you might relate to that, I don't know.

Since 15=17 to me, I compiled a separate list of honorable films I enjoyed and recommend and will most likely buy if I haven't already, from 2008, that glorious year of life anchored now in the evaporated past. I will go backwards. What's the point of reading on if you already know what number one is? Besides the year Nancy Kerrigan got that silver medal does anyone really ever remember the silver medal winner? Or, more to the point, as I am not wont to do, do you remember the other four films nominated for Best Picture in any given year? You should all be nodding in unison as you read this, as if I was Dr. Phil.

15. A Girl Cut In Two (2007) -- Dir. Claude Chabrol. Stars Benoit Magimel, Ludivine Sagnier. Not the best Chabrol, but Chabrol nonetheless. Based on an American Scandal from the turn of the 20th Century, Chabrol re-tools a waste of film starring Joan Collins (The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing - 1955) and fits it into conservative/bourgeois French upper class criticism.

14. Be Kind Rewind (2008) -- Dir. Michel Gondry. Stars Mos Def, Jack Black, Danny Glover, Mia Farrow, Melonie Diaz, and my lady Sigourney Weaver (in a brief, but integral cameo). Now I know this was considered a turkey, but I found it to be a touching little ode to motion pictures. And who doesn't find Melonie Diaz extremely watchable? She shines here and made me gleefully happy. (Check her out in Hamlet 2 - 2008 or A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints - 2006).

13. Hamlet 2 (2008) -- Dir. Andrew Fleming. Stars Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, Elisabeth Shue, David Arquette, Amy Poehler, Melonie Diaz. Fleming also helmed Nancy Drew (2007) -- which I may never see, but he also did a fun little romp called Dick (1999) with Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst, which is hilarious. His newest effort wasn't what I was expecting. In other words, I literally cringed at Coogan's every move on screen. He was that embarrassingly good. Catherine Keener is generally stellar and Elisbeth Shue was quite charming as well. I would have liked to ask for more screen time with Amy Poehler, but then, I wasn't in charge.

12. Water Lilies (2007) -- Dir. Celine Sciamma. Stars Pauline Acquart, Louise Blachert. The French really know how to tell dark coming-of-age stories, especially, I've felt, with the females. Comparatively, Sciamma's touching screen debut doesn't break any new ground, but it's engrossing fare, nonetheless. Set in the world of syncopated swimming and 15 year old sexually aggressive females = fierce shit. However, a French-Canadian film I happened to catch in Toronto 2008, Dierrere Moi, dir. Rafael Ouellet, delved into almost exactly the same issues (sans the lesbian overtones of Lilies) to a much greater effect.

11. Tell No One (2006) -- Dir. Guillaame Canet. Canet is quite a well known French actor, and his 2006 thriller based on a Harlan Coben novel finally drifted overseas to a well-received reception with the art-house crowd. I personally found male lead Francois Cluzet a little dull to watch, however the film has plenty of twists and turns (almost too many) and two awesome female supporting performances: Kristin Scott Thomas as Cluzet's lesbian sister-in-law, and the aggressive Nathalie Baye as his lawyer.

10. Elegy (2008) -- Dir. Isabel Coixet. 2008 was a nice year for Penelope Cruz fans. Though she didn't win the Golden Globe as expected for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, she was excellent in both that and this film adaptation of a Philip Roth novel. Coixet is an excellent director, whose film My Life Without Me (2003) is a favorite of mine. I also love how Coixet casts Debbie Harry in her films. And yes, she pops up in this one. Cruz is tragically moving in this, and Ben Kingsley is quite solid as the (maybe unbelievable) love interest. Dennis Hopper, Peter Sarsgaard, and another favorite of mine, Patricia Clarkson also pop up.

09. Ballast (2008) -- Dir. Lance Hammer. Set in the Mississippi Delta, Lance Hammer's quietly affecting drama centers around a suicide that brings some estranged people back together. The film might have made it into my Top films of the year, however, I was a little irritated at the pretentiousness of the director, who popped up for a screening of his film at the Walker. I was also irritated with pretentious audience members at the Walker -- you know the type that shower praise with phrases the director used to describe his own work. It is unfortunate, however, the film is worthy of much praise. Maybe when I see it again (without the presence of highfalutin society members that decry "the Walker is nothing compared to Cannes, darling, and as for Toronto, well if the city weren't so gauche, you know") I will like it better.

08. The Edge of Heaven (2007) -- Dir. Fatih Akin. With a comparative narrative style to Crash (2005) and Babel (2007), which I believe hurt the film, Heaven, at its core, tells the story of two daughters and their mothers, outlining German and Turkish relationships. In the end, the direction, acting, and cinematography work together to overcome the stylized narrative. And whenever a Fassbinder actress is resurrected, I get extremely excited. It was a supreme gift in 2008 to see Hanna Schygulla again in such a celebrated piece of work.

07. Choke (2008) -- Dir. Clark Gregg. Perhaps what Choke may have benefited from would have been a more distinct director. I'm thinking Roman Polanski or David Lynch, if I got to choose. Maybe those wouldn't have worked either. The film does make my honorable mentions probably because I have not read Palahniuk's celebrated cult novel. I was quite entertained with the film, personally. Sam Rockwell and Anjelica Huston made the film quite watchable, even though I understand that they weren't supposed to be made quite so sympathetic. And it's nice to see Joel Grey is still in good stuff.

06. A Christmas Tale (2008) -- Dir. Arnaud Desplechin. Starring Catherine Deneuve, Chiara Mastroianni, Melvil Poupaud, Mathieu Almaric. I have yet to see Desplechin's Kings & Queen (2004), and I collect Deneuve's films, so you know where I'm coming from. Tale suffers a little from being zany and all over the place--in the end I'm not sure if I really cared about anyone and their inability to bond with their family members. I found it to be quite realistic and enjoyable. Speaking of pretentious, Deneuve exudes this trait a little bit. I just try to avoid reading interviews with her. Into her sixth decade, Deneueve is still a pleasure to watch. Chiara is quite beautiful, too. And I love Melvil Poupaud. I'm,excited for The Broken (2009), and if you haven't seen Broken English (2007) with Parker Posey, please do so.

05. Towelhead (2007) -- Dir. Alan Ball. Starring Toni Collette, Aaron Eckhart, Maria Bello, Summer Bishil. Based on the novel of the same name by Alicia Erian, Ball's (screenwriter of American Beauty - 1999 and "Six Feet Under" - 2001-2005) directorial debut tackled some heavy issues, including pedophilia/statutory rape, burgeoning female sexuality, awful parents, and early 90's Gulf War Politics, not to mention that the film's central character is thirteen year old young woman who happens to be an Arab-American. Pretty impressive for an American film. Summer Bishil, in her first theatrical feature, is an extremely talented young actress. Aaron Eckhart, the second coming of Robert Redford, is such a golden-boy he's hard to despise as the married man wooing his thirteen year old neighbor. Excellent casting choice. And Toni Collette is always so charming when she's playing a sweetie. Especially a pregnant one. Where Towelhead rings false is the tidy little ending. Up until then, it's got some intense moments.

04. Frozen River (2008) -- Dir. Courtney Hunt. Stars Melissa Leo. It's sad to say, but Melissa Leo will probably be eclipsed this awards season by Kate Winslet. Leo gives a realistic performance in Courtney Hunt's intriguing directorial debut. In a climate fearful of immigration and Homeland Security, River makes for compelling cinema, part drama, part thriller.

03. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) -- Dir. Woody Allen. Stars Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Patricia Clarkson. Woody's films are always under scrutiny. He's always piled under his own classic work and he never seems to get a leg up. His latest effort got a lot of attention, mostly due to the sexual dynamics between Johansson, Bardem, and Cruz. (His film immediately before this, Cassandra's Dream (2007) was harpooned by critics, though I thought that was quite decent, especially with Colin Farrell's performance.) Anyhow, Allen's last three have been leagues above several of his efforts from the late 90's, and I would go so far to say that this latest effort is the funniest film Allen has made that he hasn't also starred in since 1994's Bullets Over Broadway. And this is mostly due to the very appealing and insane performance by Penelope Cruz. Good work, all. Yay.

*Have you noticed (because I just did) all the lesbian films in my Honorable Mentions (Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Edge of Heaven, Water Lilies, Tell No One)

02. I've Loved You So Long (2008) -- Dir. Philippe Claudel. Stars Kristin Scott Thomas, Elsa Zylberstein. Yet another directorial debut to make my list, Claudel gets an amazing performance on film from Scott Thomas. Perhaps I am especially impressed that she's not French and she's so damn good in this. Not to mention her turn in Tell No One. Perhaps a little plodding, perhaps a little simple, this film is very European art-house, but affecting. I'm glad she is getting a load of attention for such a small film.

01. Revolutionary Road (2008) -- Dir. Sam Mendes. Stars Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kathy Bates. Now, I very well could have put this in my top selections, and I almost did. However, beyond the lead performers, there's not a whole lot to the film. While it outlines a decent paradigm of suburban stifling, I rather kept questioning it's 1950's setting. Perhaps Sam Mendes wanted to distance himself from the modern suburban angst of American Beauty? Winslet is awesome as the housewife struggling to break free from the suffocation of her life, and Leo's pretty damn good, too. However, I guess I felt like some realistic reactions were lacking. I felt like Winslet was a very strong woman for that era. Not that I don't love that, but no one ever points it out. The film is set in the mid 1950's. Betty Friedan's "Feminine Mystique" wasn't even published until 1963. My point being, there was no explanation for these angsty feelings and more often than not, medication was prescribed (especially when the depicted relationship devolved to such a degree). I know I'm being picky, but I somehow think Winslet's character would have had, realistically, some additional guff to put up with. However, I felt that Mendes' film had a certain European approach to it's female lead and subject matter that reminded me of Chabrol's The Story of Women (1988). Winslet's performance alone is worth the price of admission. It seems to be her year. The Reader wasn't half bad -- my problem with that being (what also The Boy in the Striped Pajamas suffered from) the fact that all these English-speaking films dealing with the horrors of WWII Germany are being released---I've said this before, but it makes it seem like the Holocaust was a British problem. Anyhow, not a bad year, all in all.

Top 4 Films of 2008: The Top Layer of Creaminess

I bet you all could barely wait! My top 4 picks of 2008 are now here. I could write nothing but crap now because you greedy little bunnies will skip ahead until you see the number 4. I know because that's what I'd do. After all, I said this was a site about movies. Not about whether I had a good day, or if I was feeling ugly, or not wanted, or horny, or a variety of complicated clusters people blog about.

Now I want to preface that I am not the type of person that would dislike you or despise you or slash your tires if you happened to not like any of my top four theatrical selections. We just might not talk a whole lot. Or watch movies together. And I might tell people you have bad taste. You could do the same, but then, if you don't have a blog, well, you understand where I'm taking this. Like I said, utter crap. My jumping jacks before the marathon.


4. Happy-Go-Lucky (2008) -- British auteur Mike Leigh's latest effort makes my number four slot for the year. Leigh is another amazing artist to watch out for. Past favorites of mine are Life Is Sweet (1991), starring Jim Broadbent and a hilarious Jane Horrocks (Bubble from "Absolutely Fabulous"), and Secrets & Lies (1996) starring Brenda Blethyn, are both wonderful films. (I have yet to see Naked (1993) -- but I have a good excuse, I never really loved David Thewlis). Anyhow, I'm going to sound all pretentious again because I saw Happy-Go-Lucky at the 2008 Toronto Film Festival at which Mike Leigh AND Sally Hawkins (who was cute, lovely, and had a cast on her arm) attended. However, the screening was sold out and I had to wait an irritating amount of time in the rush-line and I had to immediately hike it across town afterwards to make it to a film that I did have tickets for (an excellent film from Bosnia called Tears for Sale). So I was a little irritated with this very bubbly, effervescent film. I saw it when I was in a mood for cheap whiskey and this film is more like a moderately priced champagne. Originally, the film pissed me off and I was not in the mood to watch someone so happy she almost a little light in the head. You know what I mean. Special. So special you just smile and nod and grit your teeth until you can get away and do something bad for your health. I was lucky enough to see it again at the Walker this October were they hosted a retrospective of Leigh's work. With a clear head, I fell in love with the film and Sally Hawkin's performance. I left the film resolving to have a better attitude in life. In other words be more happy-go-lucky. And it worked (I fell in love, quit smoking, started going to the gym). So maybe, dear reader(s), you should see this movie.

3. Savage Grace (2008) -- My third favorite film of 2008 is quite another beast indeed---John Waters coined Julianne Moore's performance as this year's Isabelle Huppert doppelganger (you just won't understand unless you've seen The Piano Teacher or Ma Mere). Julianne Moore, another favorite performer of mine, gives a truly ballsy turn as Barbara Baekland, who married into the plastic industry with the Baekelite clan. A bit demented, a bit sexy and frankly, a bit up my alley, the lovely Julianne spins this neurotic characterization straight into the velvet lined gutter. If you don't already know, this true story contains heavy elements of incest and murder in the American haute couture of the 50's. How tragically like the classic VC Andrews I yearned for as a child. The next best thing would be Julianne Moore playing that creepy Austrian man who was discovered last year to have locked his daughter in a homemade dungeon for a few decades. Favorite Scene: Julianne Moore monotonously convinces her son to let her hump him on the couch; and when Julianne chases down her cheating husband in the airport. Good stuff! Directed by Tom Kalin, one of the New Queer Cinema auteurs (I'll bring that up again later). Kalin hasn't directed a feature length film since Swoon (1991). Truly a film that's getting me all excited (not sexually) just thinking about it.

2. Let the Right One In (2008) -- I don't really think this is a bias, but Swedish pop stars always entertain me to the nth degree. There were those vacuous little blondes that sang that 'Lucky Twice' song a few years ago that I found to be delectably melancholy in that techno-I've done a few uppers-dance all night kind of way. The same can be said for the recent group called September, that icy blonde woman named Petra singing "You'll Never See Me Again, So No One's Going To Cry For You." Oh, Petra. So, if you didn't guess it, my number two film for the year is from Sweden, the wonderful country of Ingmar Bergman, Lukas Moodysson, lingenberries, Svedka, and ABBA. This film is the sophomore effort of Tomas Alfredson (Four Shades of Brown) and I am excited to see more of his work. Let the Right One In tells the rather touching story of a lonely young boy named Oskar, who befriends a strange young child (the gender is a bit contestable) named Eli, who turns out to be a vampire. Part thriller, part love story, and part growing up drama, the film is stupendously awesome. Watch for a flash of Eli without undergarments and your skin might crawl. Apparently the novel this is based on explains this a bit more, but if unfamiliar with the source material, that's alright. See the original version as a Hollywood remake is already in the works for a 2010 release. Oh America. How we must bastardize.

and my number one favorite film of 2008 is ----

something you probably never had the chance to see in the theater as it only played in about 3 cities (one of which was not my city) ---

1. Les Chansons D'Amour (2008) -- That's right, I'm having a movie night for it and I've already done the proverbial blog about it. Starring Ludivine Sagnier, Clotilde Hesme, Louis Garrel, and Chiara Mastroianni (daughter of Catherine Deneuve), and directed by Christophe Honore (Ma Mere; Dans Paris), I fell in love with this film. It's quirky, it's touching, it's fun, and a bit bi-sexual. One of my favorite days ever at the cinema was in Toronto, 2007, when I got to see this and immediately afterwards the World Premiere of The Girl in the Park with Sigourney Weaver (the bastard Weinsteins aren't giving Girl a theatrical release in this country, though it did in Great Britain).

And I have a film tied for number one. Yes my little darlings, one more little gem from the past year. It also went mostly ignored...

1A. The Life Before Her Eyes (2008) -- I know this received some mixed reviews, but this film stuck with me for a long time afterwards. Relating the story of a woman fifteen years after surviving a Columbine-like incident, the film stars Uma Thurman and Evan Rachel Wood as the central character at different ages. Eva Amurri (daughter of Susan Sarandon) co-stars. Directed by Vadim Perelman (House of Sand and Fog), who is now re-making Poltergeist, most likely because his excellent independent projects haven't made any money due to the fact that Americans don't like their cinema to make them think. Please see independent film if you insist on living in this country. And so, I have taken it upon myself to help spread the word. DVD sales are lucrative, right?

Wednesday, January 14th, 2008 "Les Chansons D'Amour"

Tonight's Wednesday night Screening is "Les Chansons D'Amour." Showtime @ 7. Tentatively being served with Cherry Clafoutis, a French dessert described as an "exquisite French classic" that apparently hails somewhere from the Limousin region. Oui Oui.

I was blessed (yes, blessed) enough to see Les Chansons D'Amour (Love Songs) at the 2007 Toronto Film Festival. Directed by one of my favorite new French directors, Christopher Honore, the film is a musical in the tradition of The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. And funnily enough, this film stars Chiara Mastroainni, the daughter of Catherine Deneuve (who starred in Umbrellas). Honore is quite the auteur, in my mind. He amazed me with his perverse adaption of Georges Bataille's Ma Mere starring the incomparabale Isabelle Huppert and his second feature, Dans Paris was also an excellent little drama. Honore loves to feature Louis Garrel (son of director Philippe Garrel) and Garrel has been in all three of his films. Love Songs also stars Clotilde Hesme (The Grocer's Son) and burgeoning French It-girl, Ludivine Sagnier (Water Drops on Burning Rocks; Swimming Pool; 8 Women). Oddly enough, in Toronto '07, I caught the premiere of A Girl Cut In Two, the new Chabrol film also starring Ludivine. I must say, she was quite stunning (she didn't show up to my screening of Love Songs).

Anyhow, I don't usually champion the genre known joyously around the world as the "musical," however, I loved Love Songs. Chronicalling the menage trois-ish relationship of several Parisian twenty-somethings, the film is strange little ode to love. With excellent music and entertaining performances, the film is an exciting romp through the streets of Paris. I have attached a link for a lovely review from the San Francisco Chronicle:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/06/06/DDLG11383S.DTL

Best o'the Best: 2008

Introduction:
Hello all. Welcome to Loquacious Kumquat: A Facetious Adventure, a blog devoted to the celebration of cinema. My title is derived from the name of a novel I would write if I had a good idea to flesh out with it and enough time to waste in trying to do so. But alas, I would, for the moment, rather talk/bitch/wax poetic about film, and darling reader, in what I hope to be in the most unpretentious manner I can manage. I will refrain from posting too many pictures of myself, unless of course I ended up being in a movie I felt needed marketing....

Anyhow, that's not a lot about me, but patience, darling reader(s) - (notice I've just made this plural), but I believe in a certain element of mystique....though some that know me may disagree. But once in the public domain, well, you know how these things go, people just can't help but wag their tongues, their fat, lazy tongues. ...In other words, against my initial instinct towards blogging, I am creating this lovely little morsel of a safe zone for cinema to get the word out there about some good shit, for lack of a better word.

I also attempt to introduce people to quality cinema everyday-- I have a GLBT themed film night on Wednesdays, and every other Sunday I host an International Cinema night. And yes, I will share what I think and discredit others. I am being facetious. But to be cruel, I will force the regular attendees of my movie nights to visit my blog to see what the upcoming features will be.

As a first posting after I get done blithering, I thought I would share some thoughts about what MY top several films of 2008 were. It's so hard to keep anything under the number ten, so I stretched a little. And then I have some honorable mentions. I will do my best to insert some pictures in case you get a little bored or groggy, but I promise nothing. It depends on how difficult this will be for me.

Monsieur Bell's Top 15 (+1) of 2008:

16 (the extra): Inside (2008) Now, because I can be anal, this film had to be an extra because it did not get a theater release in the US, but instead went directly to DVD. It premiered at the 2007 Toronto Film Festival on the last night and I was unable to experience it. But after I got my own copy in my hot little hands, there's no way I could leave it off a list of my favorite cinematic experiences from 2008. A simple and wicked little horror film chock full of gore and the stunningly creepy Beatrice Dalle, the film accomplishes what US horror films have neglected to do for the past however many years---be original and be disturbing. After all, isn't that what we ask from a horror film? I mean, I'm all about watching Betsy Palmer chase that androgyne around in the original Friday the 13th, but when you come across something this creepy, you have to spread the love. For those of you who don't know Beatrice Dalle, you're missing out! She shot to fame as the central character in Jean-Jacques Beineix's 1986 drama Betty Blue as the kind of girl I wouldn't curse with any straight man. Other credits include A Woman's Revenge with my gal Isabelle Huppert and the gruesome vampiric-ish drama Trouble Every Day. What I really love about Beatrice is her real-life craziness. In the later 90's she got busted for drugs while filming a crap Abel Ferrara film and so was not allowed back into the country when M. Night Shyamalan wanted her as Bruce Willis' wife in The Sixth Sense. She also married some guy in prison. And also in her native country, she notoriously bitch-slapped a meter maid for giving her a ticket. The closest we get to that is Zsa-Zsa! Anyhow, Alysson Paradis (sister-in-law of Johnny Depp) is the heroine of Inside. The film opens with a horrendous car-crash in which Paradis' husband dies only to leave her alone and very pregnant. Several months later it's Christmas Eve and Paradis will be inducing later on Christmas Day---but much to her chagrin, a mysterious woman terrorizes her inside her home, seemingly desperate to take Paradis' baby. Directed by Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury. If you like the recent outcrop of French horror, like the excellent High Tension, Them, or Sheitan you should check this out. (However, avoid Martys, if it ever is released here. Tripe).






15. The Wrestler (2008) -- Now, I don't know about you, but I love Darren Aronofsky. And yes, I loved The Fountain. I've never been the biggest fan of Mickey Rourke, but I do enjoy Body Heat, Barfly, Angel Heart and yes, Sin City. Perhaps it's the weird relationship he had with Carre Otis, his co-star from Wild Orchid, or how 9 1/2 Weeks hasn't aged well, or how he called someone a faggot and had to publicly apologize. I don't know, but he's messy. However, in The Wrestler, Rourke gives a tremendously powerful performance as a down and out retired professional wrestler in what could otherwise have been a more mediocre film (sorry Aronofsky). While it pales in comparison to Aronofsky's own work (Requiem For A Dream), the film is beautiful to watch, often cathartic and a downright a damn good piece of cinema. Evan Rachel Wood is also excellent as his estranged daughter and Marisa Tomei as the doe-eyed stripper he has a crush on.

14. Jellyfish (2007) -- Directed by Shira Geffen and Etgar Keret, Jellyfish, a film from Israel, is about three different Israeli women whose stories come together to weave an excellent, moving piece of cinema.


13. Baby Mama (2008) -- I told you I would try to be un-pretentious. Here is where I admit I have a slight bias when it comes to cinema -- I love Sigourney Weaver. Though she wasn't in all that much I drooled over this year, 2009 is looking to be excellent for Ms. Weaver. So yes, she appears on this list twice (and in my following 'Honorable Mentions' list. Notice please, dear reader(s) that Vantage Point does not appear on either list. So there. Anyhow, I loved Baby Mama. Sigourney is nice and oogy weird as the very fertile head of a surrogacy agency and who doesn't love Amy Poehler? Everything she does cracks me up. And yes, the ever-so-talented Tina Fey makes me laugh, too. I don't often choose a ton of comedies, just by nature, not that there's anything wrong with laughing. Anyhow, the above-mentioned three ladies made this otherwise by-the-books film comedic gold. I'd take it over Juno any day. Yes, even though Diablo Cody is now famous due to her torrid past as a shameless blogger (that I am not trying to mimic in any way). Baby Mama is directed by Michael McCullers and I doubt anything he helms will ever make my top 15 list again.

12. Transsiberian (2008) -- Directed by Brad Davis, who brought us the excellent creep-fest that was The Machinist, Transsiberian is a fun little thriller that entertains on several levels. Emily Mortimer and Woody Harrelson star as an American couple that get wrapped up in espionage with a wicked little Russian played by Ben Kingsley (excellent here) due to their befriending a strange couple aboard a Transsiberian train from China to Moscow. Kate Mara (Tadpole; Brokeback Mountain) and Spanish hottie Eduardo Noriega (Thesis; Open Your Eyes; Vantage Point; Novo) play the strange couple. Favorite Scene: Mortimer's reaction to Noriega's advances while sight-seeing the ruins of a church outside of a remote village. Chilly indeed.

11. Rachel Getting Married (2008) -- Jonathan Demme (The Silence of the Lambs; Philadelphia; Beloved) is an excellent filmmaker and his newest venture is no exception. Written by Sidney Lumet's daughter, Jenny Lumet, Rachel is a snaky little exercise on awful family relationships. Anne Hathaway is awesomely narcissistic and broken down as the recovering family drug addict and deserves all the attention she is getting for her work here. It's nice to see Debra Winger, even though I always though she was a little full of herself. Winger plays the most emotionally distant cinematic mother that I've seen since Mary Tyler Moore in Ordinary People. Rosemarie DeWitt and "TV on the Radio" lead singer Tunde Adebimpe are also worthy of mention as the referenced bride and groom.

10. Wall-E (2008) -- Yes, maybe it's the bias. Had to Siggy in the top 10, I know you're thinking, your eyes slanting, accusatory. But no matter. Yes, Sigourney is the voice of the computer in Wall-E. As if you didn't know. She looked lovely at the Golden Globes the other night, by the way. Point is, fare like this isn't normally seen by me, but I loved Wall-E. And if you didn't, well maybe you have a heart of stone. Yes, I'd see it again even IF Sigourney Weaver didn't have a small hand in the production.

9. My Winnipeg (2008) -- I LOVE Guy Maddin. He's the best thing out of Canada since Cronenberg. Ever since The Saddest Music in the World, I have been in love with his work. Though I believe his triumph currently stands as Brand Upon the Brain!, his newest effort, My Winnipeg is gloriously strange. Favorite element: Maddin recruited B-noir actress Ann Savage for the film--and she's alive and hilarious. Shame on you if you haven't seen Ann's signature performance in Detour (1945). She's the bitchiest femme fatale besides Stanwyck in Double Indemnity.

8. Milk (2008) -- Besides the gay agenda, Sean Penn is pretty damn good as Harvey Milk. Kudos to Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, and James Franco. It's nice to see Gus Van Sant do something I really want to rant about again, the dirty old man. The film is a pretty standard bio-pic, but nevertheless, it's worth a look and stands out as one of the better films of 2008. Both timely and necessary, I still am waiting for the fictional gay-themed film set in modern times that becomes this celebrated. Maybe I'll have to make it ;).

7. The Last Mistress (2007) -- Catherine Breillat is the most intriguing and downright cinematically vicious female French filmmaker working today. Please please please see Fat Girl (2001) if you haven't. Breillat's new film is a showcase for one of my favorite screen-siren weirdos, Asia Argento. Getting deliciously weird parts in Assayas' recent Boarding Gate and Ferrara's Go Go Tales, Argento has come a long way since she was needlessly exploited a la Sofia Coppola style in her father's trash horror films (I do like some of them, don't get upset). Elegant and heartbreaking, catch this flick to see Asia be awesomely crazy and sexy in Breillat's latest perversion.

6. Slumdog Millionaire (2008) -- Yes, everyone and their dead uncle loves this one. I also did, despite myself. Beautiful piece of work. Kudos Danny Boyle and cast, etc. Enough said.

5. Stuck (2007) -- I'm sad this got so ignored this year. An excellent little thriller that will have you saying "What the fugeezy," over and over again, Stuck is based on the true story of a young woman who hits a homeless man that gets lodged in her windshield. Panicking, she drives on and parks in her garage, leaving the man to die and avoid getting into trouble. Stephen Rea stars as a man having one really bad day and Mena Suvari deliciously plays the dreadlocked specimen of white-trash that knows no bounds in order dispose of the man in her windshield. Excellent film. Directed by Stuart Gordon, who achieved cinematic immortality with his B-horror sci-fi film Re-animator, his latest venture is every bit as deliciously good as the also overlooked Edmond (2005).

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The Top 4 are on the way.........