Honorable Mentions of 2009

The following rundown of 32 titles is my list of 2009's Honorable Mentions---meaning, this is not my best of the year list. The 30 or so titles on that list will be published in the following week or two. As of this week, I've seen about 200 films in the theater alone in 2009. But please understand, it was difficult to pare down a list to even 30 Honorable Mentions and 30+ Best. However, since this is my blog, I don't have to shed tears and cut these lists down to 10 or so films. That's way too difficult!

Honorable Mentions, 2009 (Films you should see):

24. Towards Zero – France
Dir. Pascal Thomas.
I was lucky enough to catch this 2007 release at a screening of the 2009 Minneapolis Film Festival. Pascal Thomas, a French master whose works are largely unavailable in the US, is truly a filmmaker deserving of attention, and this comedic adaptation of an Agatha Christie novels stars some of France’s finest: Melvil Poupaud, Chiara Mastroianni, Danielle Darrieux, and a scene stealing performance from Laura Smet.

23. An Education – UK
Dir. Lone Scherfig
Yes, it’s getting a lot of attention, and it’s really quite good. Peter Sarsgaard is quite creepy and Carey Mulligan is quite the new discovery in a film that boasts some excellent supporting performance from Alfred Molina, Emma Thompson, Olivia Williams. And yeah, Sally Hawkins gets once scene.

22. Adventureland – US
Dir. Greg Mottola
Though I’ve grown to despise Kristen Stewart, she gives an understated and engaging performance here, alongside Jesse Eisenberg (who is in danger of being the next monotonously geeky Michael Cera) as two youngsters falling in love one summer working at an 80’s theme park. Ryan Reynolds, Kristen Wiig, and Wendie Malick.

21. Cheri – US
Dir. Stephen Frears
Michelle Pfeiffer is stunning and amazing in her reunion with Frears. Kathy Bates is also entertaining as Pfeiffer’s frenemy/co-worker as Belle Epoque era French prostitutes.

20. Crazy On the Outside – US
Dir. Tim Allen
Technically a 2010 release, I have to mention it here because I’m sure no one will remember this film come December of 2010 and it’s really quite sad because Sigourney Weaver gives quite the fantastic turn as the pathological lying sister of ex-con Tim Allen in his directorial debut. Without her, the rest of the film is by the numbers.

19. Black Dynamite – US
Dir. Scott Sanders
Anybody who’s ever seen a blaxploitation flick will love this spoof, also written by its star, Michael Jai White, who gives a hilarious performance here. I hope Mr. White writes some more feature length screenplays.

18. Amreeka – US
Dir. Cherien Dabis
The immigrant experience is difficult subject matter, especially when you’re not trying to be condescending. The first feature length film from Dabis tells the touching and realistic tale of Muna (in an excellent performance by Nisreen Faour) and how she moves herself and her teenage son from Palestine to Illinois to live with her sister (the beautiful and talented Hiam Abbass).

17. Le Refuge – France
Dir. Francois Ozon
If you’re a French actress, you know Ozon will give you a role to die for, and this time around Isabelle Carre gets to shine in a Ozon feature as a drugged out pregnant woman that goes sober when her lover (Melvil Poupaud) ODs. Carrying the child to term, she falls in love with said lover’s gay brother.

16. Surveillance – US
Dir. Jennifer Chambers Lynch
Yes, she gave us the tragic mess Boxing Helena (1993), but this being her first film since that stunningly awful debut, the daughter of David Lynch gave us the best thing she could---a Lynchian linear narrative. Bill Pullman, Julia Ormond and French Stewart also star in this tale tinged with “Twin Peaks” similarities.

15. Paranormal Activity – US
Dir. Oren Peli
The little film that could. While it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as its marketing led you to believe, Paranormal Activity packed a lot of tension into nothing. While the two leads gave decent performances, their characters don’t always make the wisest decisions. While I didn’t shriek in terror, I truly enjoyed the experience.

14. Eyes Wide Open – Israel
Dir. Haim Tabakman
This sad little tale tells the story of Aaron the butcher (Zohar Shtrauss) an Orthodox Jewish father of four who falls in loved with Ezri, a male student of the faith. Heavy stuff, but worth the effort in this brave little drama from Israel.

13. I Am Love – Italy
Dir. Luca Guadagnino
Tilda Swinton is the driving force behind this epic melodrama in the tradition of Visconti as a woman married into the Italian bourgeoisie who lets passion and romance override her better judgment.

12. A Prophet – France
Dir. Jacques Audiard
Yes, it’s an excellent film from French master Audiard, with some gripping and amazing performances spanning the prison sentence of a young Arab (Tahar Rahim) who becomes affiliated with mafia, rising to power and prestige in the system. No, it wasn’t my favorite film of the year, but hey, I liked it.

11. Mermaid – Russia
Dir. Anna Melikyan
Also a 2007 screening I was lucky enough to attend at the Minneapolis 2009 Film Festival, Mermaid tells the story of a socially awkward young girl that believes she has the power to make her wishes to come true. She moves from the countryside to Moscow, and upon falling in love, we watch her try to navigate through the modern world.

10. Zombies of Mass Destruction – US
Dir. Kevin Hamedani
A zombie parody with, get this, a gay hero, made this one of the funniest American comedies I’ve seen this year. Unfortunately, it only played the festival circuit and a remake is slated for 2011. Check out the DVD release when available.

09. Were the World Mine – US
Dir. Tom Gustafson
What seems like typical B-grade gay niche market material turned out to be quite a lovely film, and happens to showcase the now seldom seen Wendy Robie (everyone’s favorite creepy/crazy lady of the early 90’s) as a drama teacher every gay boy dreamed about.

08. Jerichow – Germany
Dir. Christian Petzold
One of the best directors to come out of Germany recently is Christian Petzold. Though my personal favorite of his still happens to be Yella (2007), this latest offering is a very compelling take on The Postman Always Rings Twice, and also stars Petzold’s beautiful muse, Nina Hoss.

07. The Beaches of Agnes – France
Dir. Agnes Varda
It’s truly a treat to see a new Varda film, the only female director from the French New Wave. The most compelling aspect about Varda’s latest documentary/memoir is to hear her muse about her work in film and her marriage to the late director, Jacques Demy.

06. Mother – South Korea
Dir. Bong Joon-Ho
A strange tale about a mentally handicapped young man accused of murder and his mother who’s willing to anything to clear his name, South Korean auteur Joon-Ho’s latest offering explores one of the strangest and most universal human relationships, mother and child. Kim Hye-Ja gives one of the year’s most interesting performances as the female of the species.

05. Deliver Us From Evil – Denmark
Dir. Ole Bornedal
One of my favorite directors to come out of Denmark, Ole Bornedal gives us his Straw Dogs treatment with this latest offering. Beautiful cinematography, class and race relations makes this re-hash worth experiencing.

04. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee - US
Dir. Rebecca Miller
Any story that starts off with a woman being born with vestigial fur is going down as excellent in my book. While Miller’s latest work that documents the quiet breakdown of one woman sometimes meanders, this is still an excellent ensemble piece with beautiful work from Robin Wright Penn, Maria Bello, and Winona Ryder. Also stars Monica Bellucci, Blake Lively, Alan Arkin and Julianne Moore.

03. The Limits of Control – US
Dir. Jim Jarmusch
Though somewhat maligned (and at times, difficult to sit through) this slow and strange offering from Jarmusch was a pleasure to behold and comprehend. Isaach de Bankole is the arresting lead as the “lone man” who is sent on a mission to complete a mysterious and dangerous mission. Featuring interesting performances from Tilda Swinton, Bill Murray and Paz de la Huerta.

02. Observe & Report – US
Dir. Jody Hill
One of 2009’s most misunderstood mainstream releases, Observe & Report is this generation’s Taxi Driver (1974), except only film buffs seemed to be wise enough to realize it. Seth Rogen stars as an extremely troubled and somewhat maladjusted mall cop, with an alcoholic mother (Celia Weston), and a crush on a kiosk girl (a brilliant Anna Faris). Also stars Ray Liotta. Weird, strange and wonderful, if you prefer Paul Blart to this film, you probably won’t like anything else I ever have to say.

01. The Secret of the Grain – France
Dir. Abdel Kechice
Actor turned director Abdel Kechiche gives us his moving tale about an immigrant family in a French port town struggling together and separately to open a fish couscous restaurant. Excellent supporting work from Hafsia Herzi, it won’t be a film you’re soon to forget.

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Additional titles (mostly panned or dismissed) deserving of my own guilty pleasure honorable mention:

Runner-Up Honorable Mentions: (My Guilty Pleasures)

04. Away We Go – US

Dir. Sam Mendes
Audiences are getting tired of indie quirk flicks. Fine, but give me Maya Rudolph in Away We Go over any of the moronically written clods in Juno (2007).

03. Orphan – US

Dir. Jaume Collett-Serra
Kids are creepy, and I love Vera Farmiga and anything in The Bad Seed vein---plus I didn’t see the fun little twist coming.

02. The Last House on the Left – US
Dir. Dennis Illiadis
This flick got a lot of flack, but does anyone remember the quality of the original? Granted, Monica Potter’s character is awful, but Tony Goldywn more than makes up for it in this entertaining picture.

01. The Stoning of Soraya M. – US

Dir. Cyrus Nowrasteh
So, yeah, heavy handed message about the treatment of women in Iran that's difficult to sit through. That doesn’t make this any less relevant or moving.

Out of the Past: The Week In Film

Cess Pool Cinema:
1. Waterworld (1995) Dir. Kevin Reynolds - US

The Banal, the Blah, the Banausic:
1. Deadgirl (2008) Dir. Marcel Sarmiento & Gadi Harel - US
2. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) Dir. Charles E. Sellier Jr. - US

Guilty Pleasure Cinema:
1. Viva Maria! (1965) Dir. Louis Malle - France

Astounding Cinema:
5. Libeled Lady (1936) Dir. Jack Conway - US
4. Nosferatu: The Vampyre (1979) Dir. Werner Herzog - West Germany
3. The Red Shoes (1948) Dir. Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger - UK
2. The World's Greatest Dad (2009) Dir. Bobcat Goldthwait - US
1. It's A Wonderful Life (1946) Dir. Frank Capra - US

Theatrical Screenings:
4. The Men Who Stare At Goats (2009) Dir. Grant Heslov - US 6/10
3. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (2009) Dir. Rebecca Miller - US 8/10
2. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) Dir. Werner Herzog - US 10/10
1. Avatar (2009) Dir. James Cameron - US 10/10

Rewatched Goodies:
1. Inglourious Basterds (2009) Dir. Quentin Tarantino - US 10/10
2. Red Headed Woman (1932) Dir. Jack Conway - US 8/10
3. Black Christmas (1974) Dir. Bob Clarke - US 9/10
4. Shadow of the Vampire (2000) Dir. E. Elias Merhige - US 8/10

Merry Christmas everyone! I was on vacation with the hubby's family for a week, so this roundup consists of two weeks worth of films.
Waterworld (1995): Boy, oh boy---this epic failure truly is one of the worst box office flops ever made. As this was kind of Kevin Costner's baby after the landmark success of his directorial debut, Dances With Wolves (1990), I can only imagine the number of temper tantrums on set. Awful score, shoddy effects, and some of the most unappealing performances in a mainstream film that even Dennis Hopper's over-the-top perfromance is cringeworthy. It doesn't help that Jeanne Tripplehorn as zero appeal, and even less with Kevin Costner and his gills. Putrid, nonsensical story.

Deadgirl (2008): What begins as a noteworthily creepy concept goes stagnant fast in this independent horror film. Two doofy highschool rebels discover a naked young woman shackled to a table in an abandoned mental hospital. Our protagonist leaves his red-necked friend behind in disgust while he attempts to have sex with the woman. Turns out, she's a monstrous thing that you can't kill, but this doesn't stop one of the young men from pimping her out to stoners as a sex slave. While obviously there's important issues to be explored here about violence against women, we never find out what the "deadgirl" really is, where she came from, etc. And it doesn't help that even the characters we're supposed to like are utter morons. I can only gather from this story that heterosexual mean are vicious morons, so ladies, it might be beneficial to switch teams.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984): Not a bad film, just utterly ridiculous and boring. A young child that witnesses the rape and murder of his parents by a man dressed in a Santa costume one Christmas. Of course, he grows up into a handsome young man that looks like he engages in amatuer porn (the debut of Robert Brian Wilson, who would never star in a theatrically released film again) who snaps every Christmas, and eventually starts killing people. The only notable fact about this picture are the Christian groups that get all upset about using Santa as a serial killer. Apparently the commerial previews frightened children. Well, don't let your fucking kids watch TV, what can I say? Read them books you don't censor, like the Bible or trashy Frank Peretti novels.

Viva Maria! (1965): Wow, what a strange (and sometimes fun) little picture, one of four features Louis Malle would direct starring Jeanne Moreau. Brigitte Bardot also stars, and the two French icons team up in 1907 Central America to invent the striptease and helm a revolution. Way over the top (sometimes so much so it's not quite funny) a young, tanned George Hamilton shows up as a latin man at the root of the revolution, for whom Moreau falls madly in love with. Definitely a must see if you love the pretty French stars, but it's a tad too long at moments.

Libeled Lady (1936): A rather tame, though nonetheless Jack Conway comedy nominated for Best Picture in 1936 starring Spencer Tracy, Myrna Loy, William Powell and Jean Harlow. Tracy is the head of a newspaper being sued for libel when printing yet another false story about a prim and proper socialite, played with bitchy exuberance by Myran Loy. Tracy hires Powell to make the incorrect story about Loy true, but first he has to make Powell a married man by marrying him to Harlowe, who happens to be Tracy's neglected fiancee. Slapstick ensues, but the highlight, of course, happens to be Harlowe.

Nosferatu: The Vampyre (1979): If you think Max Schreck was a weirdo (especially after just re-watching Willem Dafoe's pheonmenal performance as Schreck in the fictional account of F.W. Murnau's making of the original Nosferatu, 1921) then it's completely fitting that brilliant director Werner Herzog adapted his own version starring Klaus Kinski as the indefatigable vampire. French icon Isabelle Adjani gets to look white and pasty as Mina, but the film is worth watching mostly for some gorgeous cinematography (and Herzog's signature use of animals has bats in slow motion and creepy rats) and the forever fascinating Kinski.

The Red Shoes (1948): My first Powell & Pressburger feature, I loved The Red Shoes, and I have to agree, it is one of the most beautiful films ever made. Of course, the scenes depicting Moira Shearer dancing the actual ballet of The Red Shoes within the film is the most memorable portion. But I was also moved by the very fitting, very tragic, and unforgettable conclusion. Anton Walbrook as ballet impressario Lermentov is bitchily entertaining, but I couldn't help but thinking that Shearer's love interest, the composer played by Marius Goring, looked like a clown that had undergone a botched plastic surgery. In other words, I found him rather alarming to gaze upon, and I don't just think it was the technicolor. If you love film, The Red Shoes is a sight to behold.

The World's Greatest Dad (2009): Director Bobcat Goldthwait's extremely dark comedy didn't seem to get any attention whatsoever during it's theatrical release this year. Director John Waters placed this film on his top 10 of the year, and upon watching it, I do agree that it is a funny, depressing, touching, and beautiful film. Starring Robin Williams as a passive, middle-aged high school English teacher with a teenage son from hell, Dad seems to suffer most from mis-marketing. When Williams' son accidentally kills himself while engaging in auto erotic asphyxiation, Williams makes it look like his son committed suicide in order to avoid any embarrasment. Upon faking his son's suicide note, Williams' community becomes obsessed with the his son's suicide, creating a hero for themselves to worship. Definitely dark comedy, but Williams' manages a touching and very human performance in this film that deserves more attention.

It's A Wonderful Life (1946): Yes, it's the first time I've actually sat down to watch Frank Capra's masterpiece. I don't dislike Jimmy Stewart, but he can be a little much in some films (like Harvey, 1950, for instance). But his performance as George Bailey is nothing short of perfect. I had tears streaming down my cheeks like a little baby during the last ten minutes of this film. Therfore, Christmas Day, 2009, It's A Wonderful Life tops my weekly list, and it definitely is one of the best feel-good films I've ever seen. It really is a wonderful life, and my Christmas wish for everybody is that I hope everyone can have that joyous realization sometime in their life, because it's short and there's just too many fabulous things you'll miss out on if you're not looking. (And can I just add, about the film, that is, that Gloria Grahame is in here as the other female lead---besides Donna Reed---and she's just cute as a bug's ear. I love Gloria Grahame).

Tragic Dung Heap Cinema of 2009: Cinematic Abortions

Well, here ye be, my lovelies. A roundup of the 15 worst cinematic screenings from 2009 that I had the pleasure of attending. I don't see myself attending anything that may additionally make this list before December lets up, but if I do, you can be certain I'll make an addendum. After each title and country of origin (you'll notice that these are all US productions), you'll see the name of every director associated with each said abortion of cinema. Like a toxic flower in the wild that wards off insects, may their appearance here be indicative of their work to come---STAY AWAY! (Please note that I didn't see films like Transformers 2 or other similarly maligned Hollywood turkeys that probably would have been on this list, as well).

1. Streetfighter: The Legend of Chun-Li – US (Dir. Andrzej Bartkowiak)
2. New Moon – US (Dir. Chris Weitz)
3. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra – US (Dir. Stephen Sommers)
4. My Bloody Valentine 3D – US (Dir. Patrick Lussier)
5. The Unborn – US (Dir. David S. Goyer)
6. The Uninvited – US (Dir. Guard Bros.)
7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine – US (Dir. Gavin Hood)
8. Jennifer’s Body – US (Dir. Karyn Kusama)
9. Watchmen – US (Dir. Zack Snyder)
10. Year One – US (Dir. Harold Ramis)
11. Little Ashes – US (Dir. Paul Morrison)
12. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh – US (Dir. Rawson Marshall Thurber)
13. The Haunting In Connecticut – US (Dir. Peter Cornwell)
14. Friday the 13th – US (Dir. Marcus Nispel)
15. Madea Goes to Jail – US (Tyler Perry)

15. Madea Goes To Jail – Soon to be followed by Madea Goes to the Brothel, Madea Crashes the Church Festival, Madea Courts Mormonism, Madea Eats Cheese, and finally, Madea’s Constipated Bowels. Madea just won’t go away, like that infernal Ramona from the Beverly Cleary books of my youth. Anyhow, you get my drift.

14. Friday the 13th – Well go figure. Another bastardized 80’s horror film from Marcus Nispel (who remade Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2003) and one that removes my enduring fascination with rewatching the original, Mrs. Voorhies, played delightfully over the top by Betsy Palmer.

13. The Haunting in Connecticut – A supposed true story of demonic possession, a PG-13 rating, an over the top Martin Donovan as an alcoholic father, and lazy directing from unseasoned director Peter Cornwell sink the luscious Virginia Madsen into the mire.

12. The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh – One of two independent features making the worst list, this turkey stars Peter Sarsgaard, Sienna Miller, Nick Nolte, and Jon Foster (the same man whose lackluster performance left a stank taste in my maw after viewing The Door in the Floor, 2004) in a film comprised of three different stories, none of which gel. Based on the debut novel by Michael Chabon, director Rawson Marshall Thurber needed a bit more experience before tackling such complicated subject matter. No mysteries in Pittsburgh---only death and desperation.

11. Little Ashes – One of two films making this list starring Robert Pattinson, Little Ashes only received a theatrical releases thanks to the pop power vested in the Twilight series. Once again, we have an amateur director, Paul Morrison, handling material way out of his league, with this love triangle concerning three of Spain’s greatest artists, Salvador Dali, Luis Bunuel and Federico Garcia Lorca.

10. Year One – Now, I’ve never loved Harold Ramis as a director, per se, but the atrocious debacle called Year One tells me Ramis needs to rest on his laurels for a little while. And can Michael Cera please stop playing the same person (NOTE: I refused to watch Cera’s Paper Heart due to the atrocious preview, as, rest assured, that would have made this list as well). One of the least comedic comedies I’ve been witness to.

09. Watchmen – No, I haven’t read the comic book. I’m not a fanboy. This was 3 hours of pure horseshit drudgery. I can’t stand you, Zack Snyder.

08. Jennifer’s Body – I don’t think anyone could write a role that would be easier for Megan Fox to ‘act out.’ Somehow, the slinky twit failed on all counts here. Of course, the atrocious dialogue slathered over this turkey like pasty dung by one note Diablo Cody doesn’t help anyone’s cause. Director Karyn Kusama is the only female director making this list. Good job.

07. X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Now, I’ve never had any love for Ryan Reynolds and I can’t stand dullard Lynn Collins, but this latest X-Men installment has made me lose any hope of ever respecting Hugh Jackman again---and the same goes for Liev Schreiber. (Danny Huston’s phoning in the icky bad guy performance, so less hatred I extend to him). The screenwriters and director Gavin Hood should be castrated (and yes, he previously directed Tsotsi). Failure on every count.

06. The Uninvited – Lord, what a boring horror film. David Straithairn needed a paycheck, and while Elizabeth Banks was obviously having a lot of fun, the rest of the audience that might have a brain wanted to burn the celluloid. This pile of dung was directed by the Guard Brothers. I’m sure they’ll do their best to give us more mediocre narratives since this as a first feature.

05. The Unborn – Odette Yustman’s panties have more character than her in this and I’m not sure why Gary Oldman failed to read his script. Davis S. Goyer gave us this abortion after helping pen The Dark Knight. His next project is X Men Origins: Magneto. If Jesus exists, he’s weeping.

04. My Bloody Valentine 3D – Yes, a remake of that 1981 B horror film. And in 3D! Enough said.

03. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra – In truth, I was this close to bailing out my seat before this two hour abortion began, especially after I successfully avoided seeing Transformers 2 (hence it not being on this list). Sienna Miller, good job popping up in a poorly made film again---and critic Armond White, who liked this and called Precious a racist film----I can’t believe someone with such poor taste still has a job in this line of work.

02. New Moon – The success of this film makes me want to sob uncontrollably---see my review.
01. Streetfighter: The Legend of Chun-Li – Yes, it’s worse than New Moon, and someone needs to check what kind of meds have been prescribed for Chris Klein since he’s obviously out of it. A film so terrible, it needs to be seen to be believed---someone should pay the MST3K crew to make that bearable or necessary.

Best Theatrical Screenings of Previously Released Films, 2009

In many ways, I'm a purist, this I know. As lists fly left and right of best and worst cinematic experiences, I would like to start adding my own. While I'm still waiting to theatrically experience several releases like The Maid, Nine, The White Ribbon, and The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus before my final "Best" lists are revealed, below is my list of theatrical screenings this year of previously released films, whether run as re-releases or simply being shown in a random series by an independent theater. Please stay tuned for the following lists: Tragic Dung Heap Cinema, Best of 2009, Best Acting Accolades, etc.

Best Previously Released Theatrical Experiences, 2009

5. The Blue Dahlia (1946) Dir. George Marshall – US
Stars: Veronica Lake, Alan Ladd, William Bendix

4. This Gun For Hire (1942) Dir. Frank Tuttle – US
Stars: Veronica Lake, Alan Ladd, Laird Cregar

3. The Big Clock (1948) Dir. John Farrow – US
Stars: Ray Milland, Charles Laughton, Elsa Lanchester, Maureen O’Sullivan

2. Amarcord (1973) Dir. Federico Fellini – Italy
Stars: Magali Noel, Bruno Zamin, Pupella Maggio

1. Bachelor Mother (1939) Dir. Garson Kanin - US
Stars: Ginger Rogers, David Niven

1. Bachelor Mother (1939) Garson Kanin
2. Amarcord (1973) Federico Fellini
3. The Big Clock (1948) Dir. John Farrow
4. This Gun For Hire (1942) Dir. Frank Tuttle
5. The Blue Dahlia (1946) Dir. George Marshall

Out of the Past: The Week In Film

The Banal, the Blah, the Banausic:
1. Terminator Salvation (2009) Dir. McG - US

Guilty Pleasure Cinema:
1. The Bodyguard (1992) Dir. Mick Jackson - US
2. The Man With Two Brains (1983) Dir. Carl Reiner - US

Astounding Cinema:
7. All the Real Girls (2003) Dir. David Gordon Greene - US
6. Dodsworth (1936) Dir. William Wyler - US
5. The Closet (2001) Dir. Frances Veber - France
4. My Summer of Love (2004) Dir. Pawel Pawlikowski - UK
3. The Station Agent (2003) Dir. Thomas McCarthy - US
2. Mahogany (1975) Dir. Berry Gordy - US
1. Imitation of Life (1959) Dir. Douglas Sirk - US

Theatrical Screenings:
2. Up in the Air (2009) Dir. Jason Reitman - US 8/10
1. The Messenger (2009) Dir. Oren Moverman - US 10/10

Terminator Salvation (2009): Mindless action, mindless characters, and lack of plot make this a yawn and a half. Christian Bale shouts his way throughout the flic (and knowing that he insisted on playing a character not originally written in the script doesn’t help) while Sam Worthington is given little to do. Why artists like Common, Helena Bonham Carter or Bryce Dallas Howard and Jane Alexander (WTF??) tagged along for this half baked turkey from director McG (Charlie’s Angels, 2000, We Are Marshall, 2006) is beyond me. Plus, if you’re unfamiliar with this, ummm, dramatic arch of the Terminator mythos, you might want to freshen up with the first two films from director James Cameron.

The Bodyguard (1992): If there’s any real reason to love The Bodyguard it would be for the music and Whitney Houston, basically playing herself, well, as of 1992, that is. While Whitney’s name may be now synonymous with crack head (though she’s attempting to market herself as ‘cleaned up,’ though it bums me out that she’s gone the route of the I found me some Jesus” campaign) here she was just a talented diva, playing a talented diva stalked by an obsessive fan. Though the film lacks any real charisma, this is hardly Houston’s fault. Co-star Kevin Costner is more robotic than a Stepford wife, and yes, I know he ‘modeled’ his performance after Steve McQueen---but whereas McQueen made robotic suave, Costner seems to be going through the motions. Director Lawrence Kasdan wrote this screenplay in the mid-70’s, and was meant to be a vehicle for Diana Ross and Steve McQueen, and then again for Ross and Ryan O’Neal---both pairings I would be intrigued to see. It also doesn’t help that director Mick Jackson has apparently no flair in the director’s seat.

The Man With Two Brians (1983): I wasn’t sure what to expect going into Carl Reiner’s 1983 Steve Martin headliner---at most, it’s an example of the insanity that Steve Martin used to bring to comedy. Basically, the film centers around a brain surgeon, Dr. Hfuhruhurr that’s being used by his gold digging wife (a gorgeous Kathleen Turner) who consistently denies her husband sex to keep him in line. However, Martin falls in love with a brain in a jar (voiced by Sissy Spacek) and screwball comedy ensues.

All the Real Girls (2003): David Gordon Greene’s follow-up to his critically acclaimed debut, George Washington (2000), All the Real Girls is an interesting entry in the works of Greene, who has since gone on to direct Snow Angels (2007), Pineapple Express (2008) and is currently developing a remake of Dario Argento’s Suspiria (2010)----wow! While Girls isn’t my favorite Greene picture, it’s certainly a beautiful, and sometimes moving film. Basically, it’s a story about the awkwardness of first time love between 18 year old Noel (Zooey Deschanel) and her older brother’s buddy, Paul (Paul Schneider), the small town male whore who lives with his mother, Elvira (Patricia Clarkson). Clarkson is the reason I own this film, though her part is small, she commands the screen as Paul’s gentle but understanding mother, performing as a clown for children in the hospital. While Deschanel and Schneider don’t exactly burn up the screen, it’s interesting to watch them navigate through their feelings---while not always touching, they’re completely realistic.

Dodsworth (1936): William Wyler’s adaptation of Sinclair Lewis’ novel seems quite ahead of it’s time for 1936, which documents the disintegrating marriage of a retired auto tycoon (Walter Huston in a touching performance) and his much younger wife of twenty years (Ruth Chatterton, who was no longer in films after the 1930’s). As they travel Europe, Chatterton finds a love interest in every port, it seems, the first of note being a young David Niven. As Huston comes to term with his wife’s philandering as a way to cling to her youth, he finds comfort in a mopey widow living as an ex-pat in Italy, played by the always rather mopey Mary Astor. You’ll clearly be on Huston’s side watching this one, but it’s an engrossing tale nonetheless.

The Closet (2001): Leave it to the French to hone this comedy of manners and societal sexuality mores a la La Cage au Folles (1978) with the similar The Closet (2001) starring French icons Daniel Auteuil and Gerard Depardieu. Auteuil stars as an accountant in a French rubber making firm, on the verge of being fired, despised by his coworkers for being dull and lifeless. His neighbor (Michel Aumont) convinces him to spread a rumor that he’s gay to spice up his reputation, which works. Auteuil keeps his job, improves his estranged relationship with his ex-wife and son, as well as some interesting dynamics that come about with his co-worker, Depardieu, previously the office’s greatest homophobe. While this film may have been more ‘cutting edge’ in 2001, I couldn’t help but feeling The Closet was a bit dated, here in 2009. Depardieu steals the show (Auteuil is a little hard to like in his role), but overall, a film to be appreciated.

My Summer of Love (2004): If you’ve seen Peter Jackson’s brilliant Heavenly Creatures (1994) then you’ll probably feel a more exacerbated dread than there really happens to be in Pawel Pawlikowski’s adaptation of My Summer of Love (2004). Basically, it’s all atmosphere, but that doesn’t mean some nasty little turns happen along the way, thanks to some lovely cinematography and a creepy performance from Emily Blunt as the poor, spoiled rich girl developing an unhealthy, lesbian friendship with a girl from the wrong side of the tracks, Natalie Press (who gives an excellent turn in Andrea Arnold’s short film, Wasp, 2003). Paddy Considine stars as Press’ brother, recently released from prison and converted into a religious fanatic. Parallels between religion and fantasy, realists and fakers makes My Summer of Love compelling beyond the surface, and an ending that may disappoint some viewers.

The Station Agent (2003): Ah, bless Patricia Clarkson, always radiant even while playing a depressed, estranged wife, whose child has recently died, striking up a friendship with Finbar McBride (Peter Dinklage), who has moved into the station agent’s abode, recently left to him by his dead friend and employer. Both have moved to this rural hamlet in New Jersey to be alone, but are united in friendship with the help of a lonely but rambunctious hot dog vendor (Bobby Canavale). A touching, heartfelt film from Tom McCarthy, who would go on to direct the 2007 indie hit, The Visitor.

Mahogany (1975): I don’t know what I was expecting from the 1975 Diana Ross vehicle, Mahogany, but I loved it. The only film to be directed by producer Berry Gordy (originally Tony Richardson had been slated to direct, but was fired), Mahogany has to be one of the strangest, most enjoyable narratives I’ve had the pleasure to watch. It doesn’t hurt that I absolutely love Ross’s theme song “Do You Know Where You’re Going To.” Ross plays an up and coming designer, discovered by a famous photography (Anthony Perkins) and jettisoned off to Rome as a model. However, their budding relationship is hampered by Perkin’s sexuality and the fact that Ross wants to get her name out as a designer. Mahogany sports two of the most insane scenes I’ve ever seen pop up in a film, one involving Billy Dee Williams and Perkins, the other with Perkins and Ross in an insane car scene. While it’s rumored that Perkins and Ross were at odds during filming (Perkins didn’t think Ross was a professional actress due to her background as a musical artist) they’re fantastic together. I was irritated with film’s ending and Ross’ relationship with Williams in the film, but if you haven’t seen this film, I highly recommend it. I loved it.

Imitation of Life (1959): I can’t rave enough about the works of Douglas Sirk, who has influenced so many major filmmakers with his 1940’s and 1950’s melodramas, from Todd Haynes to Rainer Werner Fassbinder (it’s even said that today’s soap operas owe their existence to the work of Sirk). Sirk’s last Hollywod film was Imitation of Life (1959), a remake of a 1934 film with Claudette Colbert. Sirk’s version stars Lana Turner as an up and coming Broadway star, a widow struggling to raise her small daughter (the teenage version played by Sandra Dee). Turner takes pity on another homeless woman (Juanita Moore in a heartbreaking, Oscar nominate performance) struggling to raise her daughter. Moore is black, but her daughter (in an awesome performance by Susan Kohner, also Oscar nominated) is light enough to pass for white, which leads her to reject her mother and her social status as she grows older. What results is a tearjerker of a film and I loved every minute of it.

Out of the Past: The Week in Film

Cess Pool Cinema:
1. Glen or Glenda (1953) Dir. Ed Wood - US

The Banal, the Blah, the Banausic:
1. A Jihad For Love (2007) Dir. Parvez Sharma - US
2. Franklyn (2008) Dir. Gerald McMorrow – UK

Guilty Pleasure Cinema:
1. Three Dancing Slaves (2004) Dir. Gael Morel - France

Astounding Cinema:

5. A Fool There Was (1915) Dir. Frank Powell - US
4. Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) Dir. Guillermo Del Toro - US
3. Kitty Foyle (1940) Dir. Sam Wood – US
2. Shadowboxer (2005) Dir. Lee Daniels - US
1. The Trial (1962) Dir. Orson Welles – US

Theatrical Releases:
2. Crazy On the Outside (2010) Dir. Tim Allen – US 8/10
1. Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) Dir. Wes Anderson – US 10/10

Rewatched Goodies:
1. The Thing (1982) Dir. John Carpenter - US
2. The Film Crew: Hollywood After Dark (1969) Dir. John Hayes - US
3. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) Dir. Guillermo Del Toro – Spain

As I sat down to enjoy director Ed Wood’s notoriously awful film, Glen or Glenda? (1953) I braced myself to have an open, patient mind. The subject matter, concerning transvestism and what is referred to in the film as a “pseudohempahrodite” seems to be revolutionary for the 1950’s. And come to find, this is a semi-autobiographical film---it Mr. Wood enjoyed dressing like a lady and cast himself in the film. And after all, the film is only 67 minutes. However, after about twenty minutes, I was struggling to pay attention or really care what was happening. The story of Glen/Glenda is cut up with scenes of Bela Lugosi, talking mysteriously and incoherently about anything going on with the action of the film. It’s akin to being immersed in conversation at the dinner table during a celebration (like, say, Thanksgiving) when you’re telling your aunts and uncles all about your thesis on the diamond mines and your train of thought is thrown during a moment of silence when Grandpa Earl’s grumbling about the girls he bedded in 1942 during the war pierce into your narrative and you forget what you were originally talking about. Needless to say, this was a long hour.

So the first feature film dealing with gay Muslims happens to be a documentary. And a mediocre one at that. It seems it’s rather difficult to be Muslim and gay. While A Jihad For Love (2007) circles around the struggles gay Muslims have attempting to recognize their sexuality and their religion, the irritating, unexplored aspect becomes, why do gay Muslims feel it’s imperative to maintain a Muslim identity? I realize their’s plenty of religious homosexuals belonging to nearly every religion (ahem, more often than not, on the down low) but typically, rejection of one’s upbringing, including religion, is necessary for many an abused homo. The only rationalization I can bring to this dogged pursuit gay Muslims seem to have about maintaining a Muslim identity is that their culture is so immersed in religion that they feel it is core sense of normalcy and structure that they can grasp/maintain to feel normal as openly gay beings. Certainly, there are particular aspects in every gay individual’s background that they cling to for comfort---but these are issues I want to see in a documentary. Is it important that there’s a film about gay Muslims? Yes. Is it enough? No. We need something that tells us more than we can already assume. But then, I’m speaking like an American, in a country where we do have rights and freedom of speech. While I admit my ignorance, as a gay man, I want to see a documentary about gay Muslims that explores some options, shows some hope. While it flies directly in the eye of the Iranian president (though I doubt he’ll ever see it) A Jihad For Love seems counterintuitive. Or perhaps I’m just intolerant of intolerance. Any religion that condemns homosexuality is not a valid religion to me. I don’t believe in reconciliation, but, rather, common sense (call it enlightenment, if you will). Gay Muslims do exist. But any person that needs a documentary to prove that is a lost case anyway.

The directorial debut of Gerald McMorrow, Franklyn, wasn’t honored with a theatrical release in the US, and frankly, I can see why. McMorrow utilizes the “seemingly unrelated characters” storyline trope that’s been choking up cinema since the success of films like Crash (2005), Babel (2006), The Edge of Heaven (2007), Vantage Point (2008) etc. However, the best of these multiple thread-films are those that don’t neatly tie everyone together (see most work by Robert Altman, Those Who Love Me Can Take the Train, 1998). Or if you’re really jonesing to connect the dots and see everything form a complete picture, watch the trashy little film 11:14 (2003). But Franklyn? No, you should avoid Franklyn, which concerns four different storylines that congeal into one awful ending. Ryan Philippe stars as a masked vagrant in a glossy, futuristic place called Meanwhile City, talking in a monotonous super-hero rasp that’s about as jarring as Christian Bale’s silly growl in The Dark Knight (2008). Philippe is hunting The Individual, a man responsible for killing his sister. But when we focus on the other three characters, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out just what exactly is going on in the case of the heavily stylized Philippe storyline (and quick note, I never remembered Philippe as being so damned hammy). Eva Green stars as a depressed art student that’s repeatedly trying to kill herself. Boring. Susannah York pops up as her mother, but they’re forced into one of those mom-watched-me-get-molested-and-I’m-depressed handbags. And then there’s an older man (Bernard Hill) looking for his son that’s escaped from a mental institution, and a third character (played by newcomer Sam Riley, who had received considerable acclaim for his role in 2007’s Control playing suicidal singer Ian Curtis). Riley’s storyline is by far, the weakest, a man who’s been left at the altar, so the grown up version of his child hood imaginary sweetheart pops up (a red-headed Eva Green) to, ummm, flirt with him.

Actor-turned-director Gael Morel helms Three Dancing Slaves (2004)—also known as Le Clan—about a family of three messed up French brothers due to the death of their mother and their somewhat lost father. Basically it’s contemporary Euro cinema featuring nubile young men for audiences with a gay-bent in mind. The film is divided into three segments, each named after one of the brothers. The eldest, recently released from prison, is played by Stephane Rideau (the object of Morel’s affections in Andre Techine’s classic, Wild Reeds, 1994). The middle wild child, Mark (played by Nicolas Cazale, the star of The Grocer’s Son, 2007) is involved in some gangland activity as well as plenty of sexual angsty activity, like having sex with a transvestite prostitute with his close pal, who happens to have a crush on his younger brother, Olivier (Thomas Dumerchez). Though written by Christophe Honore (one of my all time favorite directors, responsible for such work as Ma Mere, 2004, Dans Paris, 2006 and Les Chansons D’Amour, 2007) Morel’s Three Dancing Slaves comes across as rather anti-climactic and a tad exploitative, the camera eagerly devouring the young mens’ flesh, flaccid and all. I’m more excited to see Morel’s follow up to this feature, Apres Lui (2007), also written by Honore and starring Catherine Deneuve.

The silent film star Theda Bara is an interesting cinematic figure indeed. The screen’s first “vamp,” Bara’s name is an anagram spelling Arab Death---who couldn’t love that frightful little touch? Though the prints of most of her films have been lost or destroyed, one of the four feature length films available to witness La Bara in is A Fool There Was, the title and plot taken from a poem by Rudyard Kipling about a predatory woman. Bara plays “The Vampire,” a woman who casts a spell over a married diplomat, sucks him dry of his money and prestige, crumbles dead flowers over his body and moves on to the next victim. Chilly bitch.

I have always been an avid champion for the work of Guillermo Del Toro’s work, ever since seeing The Devil’s Backbone (2001) and Cronos (1993). But then he did intriguing though somehow sub-par English speaking work with Mimic (1997) and Blade II (2002). And after proving his directorial prowess again with the stunning film that is Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) I had held off on watching his successful film HellBoy (2004) until just this past summer, and subsequently, have finally watched the 2008 sequel this past week. HellBoy II: The Golden Army is indeed a beautiful piece of cinema—the special effects are at times, breathtaking, and always fascinating and grotesque. But what both films seem to suffer from is a lack of plot, and a lack of excitement as well. Ron Perlman is entirely entertaining and perfectly cast as the titular anti-hero and I’m going to chalk my own lack of enthusiasm up to the saturation of comic book superhero films unleashed in mainstream cinema in the past decade. Oh, and Selma Blair’s a tad annoying in these films as well. In truth, I just watched this film a week ago and have a clear image of the visuals but I already forgot what most of the plot was about. And the parenthetical title doesn’t help me recall what I should easily remember. Oh well.

A recent neglected silver screen leading lady I’ve had the treat of discovering is Ginger Rogers. I had the awesome luck to see a screening of Bachelor Mother (1939) a hilarious comedy starring Rogers and David Niven recently. And so I made it a mission to sit down and watch Ginger Rogers in her Oscar winning role as the eponymous Kitty Foyle (1940). Rogers had a magnetic screen presence and I can see why she won the Oscar as a department store worker torn between the love that keeps drifting in and out of her life (Dennis Morgan, who seems to be unable to stop smiling) and a ho-hum doctor (James Craig) that can offer her stability, though maybe not the excitement she craves. Apparently Rogers (a Republican all her life) was against playing Kitty Foyle, based on a sensational novel by Christopher Morley (and the screenplay by Dalton Trumbo, the author of “Johnny Got His Gun,” who would suffer from being blacklisted during McCarthy’s witch-hunts) but due to, (gee thank golly) those nifty Hollywood censors, the unpleasantly realistic aspects of Kitty’s life (sexuality and abortion) were omitted from the screenplay. But it’s a damn good film, nonetheless. Watch Kitty as she makes her choice between men. The complete title is Kitty Foyle: The Natural History of a Woman.

In what stands as one of the most original, most bizarre and strangely entertaining features I’ve had the pleasure of watching in quite some time, director Lee Daniels moved me to applause with his directorial debut, the unfairly maligned Shadowboxer (2005). Though I don’t really think the title fits, his film is unlike many American films you’re apt to see. The film stars Helen Mirren and Cuba Gooding Jr. as mother and step-son assassin/lovers. Wow. Plus, they’re hired by crime lord Stephen Dorff to kill his pregnant girlfriend (Vanessa Furlito, of Death Proof, 2007 fame). But Mirren, riddled with cancer, takes pity on Furlito, in what is supposed to be her last hit. Absconding with the woman after helping her deliver her baby, the assassins hole up in the suburbs with Dorff left to believe that she’s been disposed of. However, supporting characters Joseph Gordon Levitt, a crime-lord physician, and his nurse/crack-head girlfriend Mo’Nique (another chubby black female named Precious from Lee Daniels) have a tussle and Mo’Nique rats out Levitt’s involvement in Mirren escaping with Dorff’s girlfriend. If Douglas Sirk directed films while dropping acid in the 1950’s, that’s what Shadowboxer kind of looks like. Though Furlito’s character is kind of the weakest link, it really hardly matters in a series of bizarre and salacious what-the-fuck moments that should have you jeering. Macy Gray also pops up in one of the most memorable scenes of the film as Furlito’s drunk friend trying to seduce Gooding. Since the most intriguing aspect of the film is the relationship between Mirren and Gooding, once Mirren’s character leaves the picture, it spirals a bit out of control. Gooding is surprisingly subtle throughout, however, which makes up a little bit for the fact that Furlito is forced to don a blonde wig that we’re led to believe she not only wears everyday for several years but also refuses to remove in the privacy of her own home. With Daniel’s success this year with his sophomore effort, Precious, I have my fingers crossed that he will provide us with the much needed ant-thesis to Tyler Perry that cinema so terribly needs.

And the number one film this week goes to Orson Welles’ excellent adaptation of Kafka’s signature novel, The Trial (1962) starring Anthony Perkins, Jeanne Moreau, Romy Schneider and Elsa Martinelli. And any of you familiar with the novel know that it’s about a man, an office worker arrested and accused of charges he’s never made aware of. While the trial was born out of Kafka’s own extreme paranoia, his work would become the precursor herald to the doom of WWII----as Roger Ebert puts it, where “innocent people wake up one morning to discover they are guilty being themselves.” On a smaller scale, the casting of Anthony Perkins as Kafka’s problematic Josef K., highlights an aspect of homosexuality and the fear of exposure that was not unintentional, especially at a time when actors like Perkins were all in the closet as well. See screen sirens Schneider, Martinelli and Moreau in several bizarre seduction scenes that Perkins is either unaware of, or too agitated to respond effectively. The brilliant cinematography is like a beautiful, dark, film-noir nightmare that perfectly evokes the Kafkaesque. Welles called this his best film, and while he’s got a slew of cinematic treasures to his name, The Trial is indeed a cinematic nightmare, the stuff nightmares are borne from.